“I can’t just leave him. And he can’t live on his own.”

“For the money they’re offering you we could see to it that he’s set up in a nice assisted living facility.” She’d said it.

“You know he’d rather die than go to a nursing home like Mom did.”

“They’re not nursing homes. They’re apartments, nice apartments, where he’d still have all of his freedom. There would just be somebody there for him if he needed help. And this is nothing like what happened with your mother. She had dementia and needed to be looked after constantly.”

“I know. But I also know he still hasn’t forgiven himself for putting her in there. The way she deteriorated so quickly. He blames himself. In his mind she felt abandoned and that’s why she died so soon after. How can I do the same thing to him?”

“Sean you know this is different.”

“And what about Stacy? He lives to spoil her.”

“Honey, you’re not going to get another opportunity like this. You pass this up and it’s never going to come around again. I know you love your dad. You know I love him too. But you’ve got to live your life. Why don’t you ask him? You know he’d want you to take this.”

“I’m not going to put this on him. Not a word to him, got it?”

“Sean!”

“No. Not yet anyway. I need to think about it okay? Just promise me you won’t say anything to him yet.”

“If that’s what you want. But you know you’re going to have to talk to him about it sooner or later.”

“Not if I don’t take it. He never needs to know about it. And neither do Julia and Kevin.”

“Are you listening to yourself? Can’t you see how many people’s lives are going to be changed forever by this? And you just want to make up your mind all on your own without including anyone? Why did you even tell me about it if you weren’t going to listen to a word I had to say? Why dangle this in front of me?”

Sean was wondering that himself. At the same time, he knew she was right. This kind of chance would never come again. An even darker thought had been nagging him since it crawled into his mind on the way to the mall. Dad’s health wasn’t the greatest. What if he turned the offer down and a month later Dad took a turn that made a nursing home the only option? Or what if he passed away? He’d spend the rest of his life wondering what he’d given away to maintain the status quo for a few weeks. Could Kathy forgive him that? Could he forgive himself? But could he live with the thought of his father, who had always been there for him, sitting alone in an apartment thousands of miles from anyone he cared about? Which burden would be heavier?