Some words fly even before they come out and my feelings, my feelings stop sensing even before i can sense them. I am not listening anything, not speaking anything and not even feeling anything. There is a huge silence inside and a buzz, something one might feel on a sea shore at night; silence accompnied by noice made by waves.

Silence which can be so peaceful at times that you can really relax with that silence but silence inside me is eating me bit by bit and the buzz which accompnies it, is not letting me be in calm. what kind of a situation is this… I fail to understand myself, not able to judge what do i want from life. Will i be able to achieve what i deserve in this life. 

I was completely immersed in my thoughts when the doorbell rang. I got up to open the door, when i haulted to see a change in my room. My old toys, my dolls were lying on my bed. Toys which i hadn’t touched for years. I was about to pick them up when some thoughts crossed my mind, “As a kid, i used to play with these dolls, i used to marry them, create their entire life.. there was definately no purpose in that, but i never wanted them to be sad, I always posed them to be happy. GOD has created my entire life, i am like a doll for HIM, HE also must have thought to make me happy all the time, and that too without any purpose; then why i can’t take life as it comes without being sad.”

Thoughts came and went but brought a smile on my face and i realized room was back again in its original form.

Was it GOD who came and planned to answer my confusion?