Runa got up gratefully from the table. ‘Brother,’ he said, ‘am I glad I am not a dame. This is the first time I have been peered into and I hope to Christ it is the last.’

‘Finnley will want those x-rays and some more blood, and he might want to take a little tissue off you. It won’t hurt, but I would like us to be pretty sure about your general condition.’

Dressed one more and smoking a cigarette, Runa said:

‘You can level with me, doc. what are you really looking for? I am a real big boy. Do you see something there you don’t like?’

The doctor shook his head.

‘At your age, my friend, I don’t like any lumps anywhere that I don’t understand. That’s the why of the urologist. Nothing more.’

Runa raised an eyebrow. ‘You wouldn’t be gently hinting that I might have a cancerous backside, i suppose?’

‘I am not hinting anything. I just want to be goddamn sure that you don’t.’

‘On the offchance that I do.’ Runa replied, ‘what’s the gen in this prostrate business? Cancerwise, I mean?’

“Not as bad as you might think,’ the doctor said. ‘If you catch theses things early enough you can whip out the prostrate and you’ve got a decent expectancy of living your life fully and completely – with one minor exception. I suppose you studied enough physiology to know that when you subdivide a man from his prostrate gland, his sex life goes with it. You might have your normal libido – that is to say, you will have it in your head – but you are not going to be doing any practical business down below. In effect, we take out the fun-factory.’

‘It is very cheerful prospect,’ Runa said. ‘Sort of rather be Red tan dead.’

‘That’s about the size of it.’ the doctor said. ‘Now run along and see this colleague of mine. He will stick a slight needle which won’t cause you as much embarrassment as that machine I just took out of you, up your backside, and he will check your blood levels, and throw a little x-ray at you and you will be happy home in two days with a verdict. One way or the other.’

‘You have made my week.’ Runa said, ‘I will keep in touch. Can I drink while i am waiting for the word?’

‘Sure,’ the doctor said. ‘We are no longer worried about your liver. That’s past redemption anyhow.’

‘It’s a pity there’s no such thing as a used-man market,’ Runa said, ‘I feel like trading myself in on the a new model’.

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