I don’t know if any of you out there have been reading my exploits about rejoining the workforce, or even if any of you people give a damn. But the fact remains, that I have a venue so do what you want.  In any case, for the last six months, I’ve been working as a courier for a medical laboratory in Long Island City New York.  It’s a pretty decent job for a retiree with little stress and a lot of laughs.  The problem is that as of yesterday, I’m now the butt of the laughs!!

After spending the day learning a new route in Brooklyn with a co-worker, I returned to the lab to drop off the specimens.  This consists of backing into a dark uphill driveway to a loading dock to turn in the various bags of crap (literally) urine and hunks of skin for testing.  But for some reason, my partner got out of the car to put away some stuff he got from one of the labs (I think it was either free rubbers or personal lubricant) into his car.  So being the helpful idiot I tend to be I got in the van to back it in.  What I didn’t notice though was that this guys drives the car like a pimp…seatback way down.  So not looking I opened the door and plopped my big Jewish ass into the bucket.  But as luck would have it, I accidently opened the door as I was backing up (this particular vehicle has door openers that pull to the rear with no hand hold.  So with the vehicle now in motion the door swings open and hits the frame of the door.  I try to stop but with the seatback not there to support me, I fall backwards and halfway out of the van with it speeding towards a steel guard rail coming towards my head, because my foot shot out and hit he gas instead of the brake.  Another six inches and my head would be looking like something out of Taco Bell!

So, as luck would have it, the guy who’d been out for a year came back and I was told my services weren’t wanted anymore.  So off I goes…