Yesterday I went to visit Hilly, a friend of mine who serves in the Kirya, the biggest most secret military base in Israel. She works there as a dental assistant and she stays over there for the weekend. I promised her to call by at Saturday, to make her time pleasant.
  She welcomed me with a smile and led me towards the sofa.
“You want some ice cream?” she asked. 
“What kind do you have?” I asked. 
“How do you feel about Strawberry ice cream”, she said licking her red lips.
“That would be great”, I said, “I’m crazy about strawberries”. 
She left for a minute, and came back with some red Strawberry ice cream and two spoons. We licked the red ice cream passionately, leaving absolutely nothing. 
“Do you feel like smoking?” she asked, and led me to the door at the corner of the room leading to the smaller room inside.  She opened the door and took me into the smaller room closing the door behind us and taking a joint out of her military purse.  She lit up her cigarette giving me the first puff.  We smoked most funnily flying up the air little bluish clouds of laughter all across the room. 
  “Would you like to take a walk”, she asked.  “shall I show you around?”.
She gave me a guided tour around the dental clinic presenting me the dentist’s electric chair, the way it goes up and down and turns around  in all  directions, accompanied by the hot spotlights. 
“Wow!, some great piece of chair you got here”, I said, enthusiastically.
“Wait! you ain’t seen nothing yet”, she said smilingly. “There’s nothing like trying it personally”, she added. 
She locked the door behind us and sat me on the electric chair.  “Are you ready for take off?” She asked smilingly. I gave her back my special smile, I treasure for special occasions and replied that we were ready and put on the seat belt.  She took off  her military khaki shirt and stayed with a bra, not forgetting to turn on the spotlights.  She asked me, if I wanted it with music or without it.  I told her that music sounds pretty cool. What have you got?” I asked,”
“Would `Nirvana` fit?”
“Yes, cool, especially `rape me`”, I said. 
She put `Nirvana` on the tape and hopped between my arms.  I lifted her mini skirt, happy to see that she was wearing nothing underneath and sat her agilely on my knees.  I entered her at once letting her lips escape a slight sigh.  She pushed the button and the electric chair was going  up and down, just like in Disneyland.  We went up and down by the rhythm  together with the chair  till  the song was over.  She wanted again, she
promised me that if I’d do the trick again, she would take me for a tour in the area. 
I obeyed gladly and we went up and down once again. 
After we were finished she took me on a tour, exactly like she had promised.  She lowered me down the elevator into the Hole*, taking me to see all the swimming pools of the bellied generals down under the tower.
 We went down in the secret elevator deep inside.  Down under, there was waiting for us, three hundred  feet below the ground, the car of her Lieutenant general.  We went inside the car and started driving.  She told me that her  Lieutenant general let her use the car on Saturdays when he is with the wife and the children, because she’s so nice to him in the rest of the weekdays.  We reached a heavy iron gate, Hilly smiled her sexiest smile towards the door keeper.  He replied with a smile and opened up the gate.
 She took me straight to see the missiles, the nuclear missiles.  I was amazed by the sight of my eyes, never had i imagined that we have so many missiles down under at the cellars.  There stood hundreds of missiles in different sizes, arranged in trios in exemplary military order.  In the middle of the hall stood the ballistic missile that towered sixty feet high.  Sixty feet of khaki decorated with Jewish stars, Phalli symbol of the long-reach arm of the I.D.F.** She did not forget to show me the rest of the major attractions down there, the greenish dollar mountain towering  seven meters high, the fruit of the American financial aid and the outrageous defence budget, the genetic zoo that on it’s development the best Jewish minds have worked like crazy about it, in which gigantic tamed lions thirty feet in size and Hamat-Gader alligators that looks like dinosaurs.  They nourish them especially for the commando and Sayeret-Matcal***, for special missions.
  I didn’t dare thinking how much money is poured down under in the cellars and
how many apartments we could have build using this money for all the homeless, or how many hungry students of  art we could have fed.
“some pretty museum you got down here”, i said to Hilly ”cool!, ah?”
she half asked, half said.  I told her it was fantastic, smiling at her my special smile accompanying it with a little wink, “but the nicest place around here is your little room with the electric chair”. 
She hugged me warmly and took me there again for a last round. 
  I came back home tired but happy.  I opened up the paper that waited
for me outside the door happy to find out that the prime minister happening to be the defence minister as well, approved extra budget supplement for the ministry of defence. 
  “Great!” I said to myself, “they will probably build with it a new museum and I’ve always liked futoristic art”.    

*.   The Hole – the secret name for the Israeli forces command center.
**.  I. D. F – Israeli Defence Forces. 
***  Sayeret-matcal – most lucrative Israeli commando unit.