Tony always followed Chai.  When Chai missed, which was seldom, he always seemed to leave Tony a shot, somehow.

There was grumbling about, but nothing was said.  

So they switched, but that didn’t make anyone any happier.

But they were throwing money around buying the house drinks so the management made sure everyone stayed cool.

Everyone, except LeDrone Baines.  LeDrone was a self made local thug who could have been a professional basketball player or something if it wasn’t for the fact that he was a liar, thief, murderer, sadist and card cheat.  And that was how he treated his friends.

“You guys is cheatin’” said LeDrone, in a voice as smooth as lizard shit.  Requisite grunts of agreement were mumbled by his retinue, a mob so scantlin’ they couldn’t even stand each other.

Tony laughed, and threw a dollar on the floor by LeDrone’s feet.

“Buy yourself some pop” he said to LeDrone, “and be quiet so I can shoot.”

A couple of LeDrones boys broke bad, but woke up fifteen minutes later piled up in a corner, sans jewelry and other valuables.

Chai was admiring his new bling when LeDrone rose from his seat and pulled out an artillery piece that made dirty harry’s gun look like chopped liver.

“That’s a big gun you got there” Chai said as he stuck the business end of his cuestick down the barrel of the cannon LeDrone was pointing at him.  He kicked LeDrone lightly on the shin.  LeDrone laughed.  Chai kicked him on the other shin, and LeDrone laughed again.

Then Chai raised his foot a bit for LeDrone to see.  There was blood dripping from the razor blades sewn into the sides of the sole.

“You cut me?”

LeDrone looked down and his shins were bleeding, his fine silk metallic gold pantlegs sliced neatly as you please. 

LeDrone reached into his sholder holster, but not fast enough, for as his hand wrapped around his backup piece, Tony stabbed him through the arm, pinning his arm to his chest.

Chai burst out laughing at that, took LeDrone’s other hand, raised it, and pinned it against the wall with a knife of his own.

“Now say the pledge of allegiance, motherfucker, hahahaha”  Chai quipped.

And everyone laughed and laughed.

Except LeDrone, who made revengeful remarks, which only earned him more abuse.

At this, the management had to draw the line, and threw LeDrone and his cronies to the cops, bags of coke and funny money sticking out of their pockets.

Tony bought the house a round, and gave the bartender a C-Note tip, while Chai pulled a Corvette around front, gangster walls on the tires and tucked and rolled to a pimpmobile perfection, with “LeD” license plates.

“What a piece of shit” Tony exclaimed as he got in, and Chai red lined it and popped the clutch, spinning almost out of control, bouncing off a tree, and doing it again and again until they blew the damned transmission.  They parked it in front of a police station and set it on fire.

Some police ran out of the station and began writing tickets for the car, while others hailed a cab for Tony and Chai.

Ah, those were the days.

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“Whales Frolicking in the Desert” by LewSethics

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http://www.triond.com/users/LewSethics

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http://purpleslinky.com/humor/whale-oil-not-just-for-breakfast-anymore/

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http://purpleslinky.com/humor/whale-oil-the-arizona-whale-wars/

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http://authspot.com/poetry/whiskey-rainstorm/

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http://authspot.com/poetry/run-with-scissors-kick-the-cat/

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http://musicouch.com/instruments/string/charlie-daniels-hell-on-violins/

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