Pigeon: “Brawk braawk?”

Isn’t that the sound a chicken makes? I thought you mad cow sounds last time…

Bob: “THERE’S TIRES IN MY HEAD!”

You hear somethin’ Quiggles? Whatever. Anyway, I found myself stepping onto the odd wreck of a bus with Quiggles and Bob as the doors shut behind us. Oddly enough, I still wasn’t finding any of this odd, even as the giant purple pigeon now known as Pigeon revved up the engine of the bus like a race car, despite the fact that it had just crashed into a tree. It still retained that damage but it worked perfectly. I took a seat as the bus set into motion, moving at the speed of light. Oh don’t worry Quiggles, Pigeon survived that last crash without a problem, I’m sure we’ll be fine.

Pigeon: “Mooooo!”

Yeah, what he said. Oh if you look to the right, you’ll see the planet Jupiter going by. And now it seems we’re arriving at our station – The Haunted Bright Flower Hotel of Random Kitty Cat Fleece! But let’s just call it the hotel, shall we? Anyway, I stepped out of the bus (which immediately fell to pieces) and walked over to the entrance of the hotel which seemed to change every moment. Again, this being a dream, I thought nothing of it. Suddenly, I heard a voice somewhere. I looked down at my feet and saw a little blue cat talking to me.

Blue Cat: “Hey, you! Are you the princess they sent to slay the beast?”

Bear with me Quiggles, this is where it gets weird. Hey, where’s Bob? Oh, he’s still on the bus?

Pigeon: “Ribbit!”

Blue Cat: “Well anyway madam, here is your weapon.”

The blue cat then handed me a baguette of rainbow colors, just as I heard a loud thud and suddenly, a gigantic notebook with the legs and arms of a poorly drawn stick figure emerged from behind the hotel. Which at this point had turned into a castle.

Giant Notebook: “Draw!”

As it said this, the notebook drew an equally gigantic pencil from it’s spiral binding and held it out at me like a fencing sword. What d’you call those, rapiers? Yeah, that’s it. Well then giant notebook, if that is what you wish, I have been forced to use my baguette! Except I ate it.

Giant Notebook: “NOOOOOO! Not a nonexistent baguette! My only weakness!”

And with that final desperate cry, the notebook sank to it’s stick figure knees and promptly exploded into shredded pieces of paper. If only it had known that I was lying and I hadn’t really eaten that baguette. It’s right here. After all, everyone knows you can’t eat baguettes. Because it’s a rainbow. But anyway, with the notebook monster defeated, I idly tossed the baguette weapon aside -

Bob: “Ow! My eye!”

…and hit Bob with it. And now peace has once again returned to the land of Meralda. Whatever that is. Man, I just defeated a giant notebook with a rainbow baguette that a talking blue cat gave me… My dreams are weird… But anyway Quiggles, it is time for you to return home. Now. Go. I SAID GO QUIGGLES!!!

And thus the very odd dream came to an end. With the notebook monster gone, Pigeon was able to make enough money to rebuild his bus. Which he then crashed into yet another tree. Bob finally managed to get the “magical” rainbow baguette and two tires out of his head. The blue cat bought his own company and lived the rest of his life destroying dream trees to make dream paper to make dream notebooks. Until something went wrong in the production and a gigantic notebook was created.

Giant Notebook: “I…have…RETURNED!”