A man wakes up one morning with the filthiest hangover & no recollection of the night before. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin & a glass of water on the bedside table. He looks around the room to find his clothes are on the dresser, neatly folded, with a clean shirt on top. The bedroom is immaculate. On the bedside table is a note which says, “Darling, your breakfast is in the kitchen. I love you.”

Downstairs, he finds his favourite cereal, biscuits, fresh juice, and some freshly brewed coffee laid out waiting for him, along with the morning paper. His 15-year-old son is already sitting at the table and is finishing his own breakfast. “Tell me, son,” he asks, “What happened last night?” “Well,” says the boy, “You came home so blind drunk you didn’t even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, you got sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over & when mom tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a blàck eye.”

“Christ!” says the man. “Then how come my clothes are all folded, the house is tidy & my breakfast is ready?” His son replies “When mom dragged you into the bedroom & tried to get your trousers off to put you into bed, you shouted at her, ‘Get your filthy hands off me, you whore, I’m married!’”