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There were these two men on a boat that was sinking in the ocean. One remembering that he came from a religious background began to pray. ” Oh Lord, if you will save me, deliver me from my impeding doom, I will be in church every Sunday and I ‘ll quite gambling. I’ll even throw in  drinking. I’ll put away all my drinking and never touch another as long as I live. I’ll give 10% of every penny I make ,oh heck, I’ll give 50%, no wait, 80% after all I need something to live off of.”

Suddenly his friend says ” I think I see a sail over the horizon. I believe we are going to be rescued.” The man settled down breathed a sigh of relief and said ” You know God that I promised I’d cut back on my drinking and cut back on my gambling. I even promised 10% of what I have left after I pay my bills. Thank you for saving me.”

His friend said “I was mistaken, it was only a mirage or a shadow in the distance. ” The man began to pray intensely “Please God I didn’t mean to change my promises you know me I’m a honest soul. I’ll give you 50% of all my worldly goods. I’ll be in church every Sunday and I’ll stop drinking, gambling, and even lying. I won’t even steal from my job anymore. If you will just spare me I’ll be your faithful servant and serve you all the rest of my life.”

His friend said “I hear something, it’s a helicopter. We are going to be saved. “  The man waited until he was sure it was a helicopter and this time he was sure they were going to be rescued and he lifted his eyes to the skies and said “Thank you God. I might see you Sunday after I get through celebrating my rescue. You know I have to do that after all if I don’t, what will my friends think of me.  I really meant I would give 10% of anything I have left after I finish celebrating. I hope you don’t hold me to that drinking thing, you know me and know how hard that would be for me. I really want to cut back on the gambling thing, but you know me God, that’s my outlet I can’t survive without it. After all didn’t you create me and you created all these faults in me.  I’m not really a bad person. You know I didn’t mean to hurt that man the other night, he just got in my face and made me mad. I had to much to drink and you know how I am with my temper and all. You know it’s really your fault , the way I am, you made me, and if you didn’t want me to be this way, why did you give me all these faults. Thanks for saving me anyway but I bet this helicopter would have came around anyway, so you probably didn’t have to much to do with it showing up.”