Another epiphany forced upon her aching heart. Slowly she fades into the shadows wishing she was worth more than she is. Tired of the lies and betrayals her heart has come in contact with. Nothing good can come of this. Love… this curse that takes her high… she loves too intensely. No one can handle it. No one can reciprocate the emotions conveyed. Silence stills her mind. She is broken and tattered… as she should be. To fight the inevitable is pointless. Why fight for someone who will not fight for her? She sings, “will they burn for me?”  No. They will not. There is no escaping this time. She will stay where she knows she can thrive. Alone.

Darkened chambers surround her heart. Her heart turns colours, from thriving to black. She is dead inside. Her faith is gone. She turns her back on God. No reason to believe in something that was brought about through illusions.

She cries. She sings. The hymnals ringing in her ears, calling her back to a place where she finds peace. She cannot take the noise. Its ringing is cursed. No reason to believe in something that always proves her wrong. Love… that damned word. Torturous and deceitful. She let her guard down once. Never again.

She roams the night in forests unkempt. Nature soothes her soul. She will remain there through the night till sunrise. Listening only to the creatures around her and the calm flow of the water at her feet.

“What have I become, my sweetest friend?” she whispers to the moon.

Nothing is what it seems. Fear is the enemy.

“I fear no longer the world. I fear myself more than ever.”

This is why she must stay alone. She cannot be with someone else. She gave too much and now she is empty. Torn. Broken for the world to see. The ice must resume. She will no longer feel as she once did. She is stone once more.

“I miss you sometimes late at night when I cannot see you.” she whispers to the stars.

Shhh…they might hear your weakness. That you long for things you cannot attain.

Love… hopeless romantic against the sky. Even the sweetest of friends cannot understand the shadows laid within your heart.

Shhh…they might see your tears. Unacceptable.

She flees from the forest at sunrise to return to her bed. She no longer feels alive. She bleeds for one moment of comfort.

“There is nothing left for me here. Soon I will return home to the place where I belong.”

She sleeps through the night. Nightmares surrounding her mind.

She hopes to not wake in the morning.

Sometimes waking up alive seems worse.