As a Mom, I know how to pick birthday party venues.  My baby shower had a keg, my son’s first birthday had a bounce house and open bar.  I take care of both parents and children.  So when we received the invitation to Bouncy House USA, I knew this was a kid’s party only.  Really with a name such as Bouncy House USA, how could this not be just for kids.  So I took my boys over there prepared: packing a book, my computer, my fancy schmancy phone and all kinds of other paraphernalia to keep me busy as they bounce around.

Here’s the problem.  I think this place is designed so parents have no choice but to leave their children there.  We come in and there’s already screaming and yelling as the young cheerleader looking girls corral the children in the watch a video on “safety”.  Yeah, we’re really watching that video.  The kids are in the WWF Smackdown mode inching towards the door that opens to “Fun” rather than watching a video on how to be safe.  The cheerleaders are whipping them up into a frenzy until their eyes roll back in their heads as the red door to “fun” opens.  Who brought Linda Blair to the party?  We parents march solemly back to the bouncy room, not running screaming and yelling as the kids do.  There is a large warehouse type room with 4 bouncy houses for the kids, but a big problem for the adults.  There’s nowhere to sit.  What about us old farts?  Shouldn’t there be some type of easy chair in the corner so we could take a snooze while the kids bounce away?  It’s staffed by cheerleaders on minimum wage who are ready to “play” with your children.  There’s nothing for us adults, some metal benches sitting along the wall-that’s it.  No rockers, no cots, no free wi-fi, nada.

All the kids behave like maniacs as they are let loose on the bouncy room.  They run into each other trying to get up to the slide first, knock each other over on the obstacle course.  I, like my boys is overwhelmed by the screaming of children, the loud music playing over the speakers and thunder of feet as they ran from bounce house to bounce house.  It only took my boys two seconds to realize that they could safely say that they can’t hear me yelling at them over the noise as license to do what they want.  I’m left quicker than the last five dollars in my wallet in the coffee shop.