Self realization of missed opportunities.

You were…………

That one exception that i would of left everyone for. You were the one I would of left me job, would of left this town, would of left me friends and family for. I used to meet you almost an hour away just to see you. I would wash your car and do things for you just to make you happy. I would stay at your house and wish I could hold you. Unfortunately the only time I got to sleep with you, the parentals kids you were looking after were out far past their time, which made you worry. So I would wake up three or four time during the night and see you standing at the window looking for them, because you were worried soooo much. I could not hold you. I could not smell your hair. God I remember you soooo much. I remember your from middle school. The girl with the shoulder length hair, that was far tooo gorgeous to talk to. no way she would talk to someone like me. I remember the times I would awkwardly come into class and act like a complete moron just trying to get you to talk to me. I remember the first time you actually got super drunk and we camped out in a close friends yard and you were so worried about our friends making out that you didnt realize me and you were sleeping face to face. I went to sleep and it was the greatest night of my life because I got to look into your eyes as I fell asleep. I knew right then I wanted to marry you…and we stopped talking. I saw you years later and you somehow found interest in me. You said I looked more muscular lol, come on now, we both know that wasn’t true……..ok maybe a little, lets be serious here lol. But I love you and I always will. I look at your pictures from time to time and think that could of been me, we would of been so great together. I remember the times we talked, and we were happy, we kissed because we wanted to, not because we were boyfriend and girlfriend, because we never were, but because we WANTED to kiss each other. It’s so hard to explain the way it was for people to understand because at the time it was so great I wasn’t really thinking about it. I was such a fool, when I chose to talk to you I was currently in a relationship and even though I knew it was wrong at the time, I still knew that if I did not take the chance while I had it I might not get it again, and like a complete fucking moron I asked you to wait for me to go to that dance with my current girlfriend and I was going to break up with her after, but I had felt like I owed her at least her formal dance for her pledge. I know. I know it was so wrong, on so many levels. People make mistakes to learn from them, unfortunately this was a mistake I did not want to learn from. I wanted to be with this girl for the rest for my life. She was exactly what I wanted. I guess in high in site, I was not what she wanted. Seems like she wanted some guy who looked and acted like every other guy on the planet.

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