Its the quiet ones you have to worry about.
The other day I saw Ezekiel. You remember Ezekiel? No?
Well, Ezekiel was a old school gold prospector, panned the hills behind Dead Man’s Gulley, he did, be gone half a year at a stretch.
Well, there was this one time Ezekiel came into town for supplies, just shy of dusk, and he was tired and thirsty after walking all day. He was headed for the stable to bed his mule down when a young buck with paired matching pistols staggered out of the saloon drunk and randy for a fight, bottle in hand, and saw old Ezekiel, thin as a willow, and scoffed him loudly:
“Hey old man, you old geezer, you ever dance? You wanna dance?” he boldly challenged, took a swallow of whiskey, and drew his pistols.
“No, I never did dance, I guess I never wanted to dance, see, I…”
“Well, you’re gonna dance now old man! Dance!” and proceeded to shoot bullets at the old man’s feet, causing the old man to dance so as not to lose a toe or worse.
“Dance, you old bastard” the young gunslinger laughed and emptied his two six shooters at the old man’s feet. Everybody was laughing, and when the pistols were empty and the fun was over, the young shooter holstered his guns, picked up his bottle and turned to re-enter the saloon.
But before the young man got two steps he heard the unmistakable sound of a double barreled shotgun being cocked behind his back. Not one of those city shotguns either, this one was loaded for bear, and the double click was the only thing to be heard as the laughing stopped abruptly and the old prospector said:
“Boy, did you ever kiss a mule’s ass?”
The young man turned around, ashen faced, and looked at the old man, trying to find some bluff, but there was none there.
“No, but I always wanted to” was his reply.
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