“Fast Food” How much longer will that phrase be in use? How long will it take for all of us to find a better, more proper term for the greasy, paper-wrapped meals from a drive-thru?

We went to Wendy’s for lunch today. I said, “Hey they have good salads, are faster than Applebee’s and we won’t have to tip.”

It just happened to be during that familiar time between 11:30am and 12:45 pm known to all former and current food service employees as “Lunch Rush.” * Dun-dun-Dun! *

For those of you in the rest of the world, “Lunch Rush” is that time of day that you have the least possible amount of time to eat and return to work. It’s the time of day when you are least likely to be immediately seated in any restaurant regardless of where in the country you are. It is the time of day that you will opt for so-called “Fast Food” and if you have any common sense, you will take a book, not only to ease the discomfort of sitting alone in a crowded dining room, but so that you have something to do in line other than stare at the growth on the neck of the smelly guy in front of you and ponder whether or not it could be cancerous.

Lunch Rush is as common as that nightmare of Friday night pre-club rush at any eatery, or the dreaded 3am Bar Rush after the club has closed and everyone is way to drunk to drive without their Moons Over My Hammy. The biggest difference between Lunch Rush, and all the other food service nightmare hours is that lunch is so short that as soon as you break a sweat and start screaming, “Where is Jose with the guacamole!” it’s over. It is such a short burst of activity that you are left dizzy, reeling with adrenaline, and if you are in a tipped profession, still too broke to go home.

My chosen… or should I say my “fell into head first, and got stuck in it” profession began at Taco Bell when I was 17, and has had me everywhere from the graveyard shift at a pie and coffee house to training newbies at the Olive Garden over a 10 year period. That said, I have way too much sympathy for the poor kid behind any apron or counter that I approach as a customer, or worse I have way too little for blatant stupidity and lack of courtesy in those fields.