Humans allow the Universe to record and perpetuate its amazing creations. Most of us don’t realize that we are existing in communion with the Universe, however if by some “one in a billion” chance we do, gates to unlimited and magical possibilities will instantly open. Most people are just happy waking up at 7 am to go to work and reading this story as if it were fiction, yeah…that keeps their futile flea sized idea of control tucked away safely. I can’t blame them though, my discovery began by coincidence, and the same lifestyle I am busting now was the same that had driven me to suicide, so you could say I was dead serious about the “white picked fence” life.

I am in my early forties, a few years ago, I had realized that after almost three decades of goal setting, discipline, hard work, sacrifice and lots of dreaming, my life was not something I felt I could maintain anymore. I was having relationship problems, had just lost my life savings in a scam and my job was a dead end 9 to 5 rat maze. As a person I felt ugly inside and out. The world may have won at letting me know what a loser I was, but I had control of the last word and I would do it with style. Even when my emotional life was healthier I always believed that terminally ill patients should have the right to end their life in a more personalized and dignified way, rather than waiting weakly on a metal bed in a gloomy cold room, that smelled like disinfectant. I looked for the tallest building in my home city, of Miami, and found it in downtown went up to the rooftop and stood admiring the city lights and ocean a few minutes before I took the big leap. This was one of the happiest moments of my life, knowing I truly had complete control of what would happen in my life. In those seconds, as the wind kicked up, I smiled looked up and thanked God. I thanked him for having lived, for the smile on my face, for the fullness of the moment and the freedom I felt within, then I took a step forward.

My first impression was tremendous fear that I had nothing to hold on to, and then the acceleration and the sound on my ears as the wind blew past me. I controlled my self and smiled within, telling myself to calm down, that I had chosen this and should live it fully. As my body was flailing and my eyes were seeing the ground zoom towards me, within my vision there was an illumination, a light, a very bright light. The light was inside my head; as if my vision had been me watching TV on a dark room and now someone had turned on a perpetual flash in that room. All of my senses felt that way. I could almost taste an explosion of mint in my mouth and nose. My body felt as if I had just taken a cold shower. My ears were still too affected by the unexpected scream of the wind rushing as I fell. In the middle of all this excitement and chaos, a knowledge came to me, and it was that, now I really was ready for what I had felt all of those years before and that now the adventure was just beginning. Mentally I said to myself, “The story of my life…just when I decide to end it, it actually was about to begin…”