A ray of light passes by the shadowy figure that is me. The wind blows gently as I’m being torn apart by the past and the present, I don’t know who I am anymore.

The festive landscape that surrounds me is all empty in my eyes, the peoples noise quiet in my ears. Right in front of me is a gate. At first, It looks like just any gate, but then it strikes me.

I had hoped I would never have to see it again.

I’m caught in staring at the gate, and the more that I stare, the more attractive it gets. This was not the first time I had been here, the gate had returned to me many times, and I’ve always tried to resist it. Now I began to lose control, I can’t hold it back anymore!

But this was not what I got here for.

I stand still for a moment, then releases it all and charges for the gate. Past the crowd of people I run, past everything I had built up over the last years. I’m closing in, and that’s when I see it.

It’s a dead end. The gate has been blocked. I desperately put my hands on the large boulder that’s in my way. It’s not even budging. Exhausted, I kneel down in front of it.

‘It can’t be, I went.. back!’