The magazine says, “ the girl should’ve went solo a long time ago, the guys should’ve stopped rapping-vanish like Menudo,” says 227-year old Prakazrek Michel on a sunny night in Sony Studios, Jupiter. For the past seven hours, Pras has been discussing The Miseducation of A Ghetto Superstar Carnival, the beyond-highly-anticipated 42-disc reunion album from 20th century rap super-group the Fugees.

The “girl” Pras speaks of is, of course, cosmic goddess Lauryn Hill. Cryogenically frozen since 2047, L-Boogie was thawed out last year by her great-grandson, Rohan Robert Marley lll, president of Tuff Gong Intercosmic. L sits at the mixing board, nodding her floor-length locks in agreement, as Pras reflects on why the reunion was possible. “I used to be underrated,” says Pras, his eyes on the floor. “Now I take iron, makes my shit constipated. I’m more concentrated.” The iron supplements may explain why the 2022 addition of Industry Rule 4089, which effectively banned Pras from rap music, was overturned last year, allowing the Fugees to legally regroup. “Pras isn’t the same,” Lauryn says softly, turning her head to the window for a moment to watch a brief atomic shower. “The forever young voodoo spell Clef put on himself kept his brain intact. And of course, my procedure was a complete success so Lauryn is still Lauryn. But Pras…”

     Suddenly, Clef appears, brandishing an antique .357 Magnum. “You will not speak on what you heard today,” he warns. “You write about this, you die.” Clef then lets out a strong belly laugh: “C’mon now, you know Clef don’t deal with guns. I’m a family man. This album is all about family.”

     “We used to be number 10, now we permanent at one!” yells Pras. Then he stops, looks for a piece of paper, and says to no one in particular, “I should write that one down, right?”