Maybe instead of allowing myself to bow to my emotions

I should stand up to them

Act on them

Instead of dealing with them

Maybe I should apply them

Maybe this is another maybe in a long list of them

Or

Maybe not

I could be so much more than I am now

I could love harder then ever before

I could feel more than anyone else

I could stand up to what I believe in, become a fighter for my morals

I could

I should

Will I?

I don’t need you to save me

I don’t care

I’ll save myself for once

Pull myself out of my own emotions,

Become someone better, full of life and light

So let me fail

So I can save myself

I’ve depended on you for too long….

Hurting, bleeding, crying, you left me

You left me on the cold ground

Alone

And now

Are the roles reversed?

Have I found you

Vulnerable and weak

At my mercy?

What would I do?

Hurt you like you hurt me?

Or pull you close so that we can be strong

Together

He stared down at the words he had written. Unsure of himself once again, he read it over once, then a second time slowly. He scanned the way his emotions looked on paper, in words. He wanted her to hurt as much as he did, but staring at the last two lines he suddenly saw how much of a hold she had on him.

________________________________________________________________

She lay on her back, looking up at a swirling water stain on her ceiling. Her eyes red and swollen, her cheeks streaked with tears, she lay awake into the night, wondering if what she had done was really for the best. He had begged her, had pleaded, and that had made her feel horribly proud. She had such an effect on him, the one person she really cared about.

Then he had given in, accepted what she had told him. She was taken aback, had no idea that he would show the strength to do that. That hurt her the most, the fact that he gave in to the idea that he would never hold her again, never tell her he loved her. The resigned tone he took brought her to tears. She never wanted to hurt him, he was so innocent.

So here she lay, alone.

________________________________________________________________

He wasn’t the man that his body told him to be, not tonight. He was a child again, curled up, cold, and shaking from the strength of the sobs that consumed him. He wanted nothing more than her, he was dependent on her love and it scared him. He hated the way he needed her, but he couldn’t change what was.