My journey to work each morning is really rather dull. It is too long, I leave too early in the morning and, thanks to the number of changes I have to make, the route is not best suited to relaxation.

However Gerald, my imaginary friend, enjoys a much more stimulating trek.

So it is his I will recount here…

Dawn is yet an hour away and Gerald is awakened by the baying of his hounds in the yard; he considers rolling over and resuming his snoring, but only for the briefest of moments.

Good old Gerald is far too energetic a man to waste the pre-dawn hours in slumber!

Instead he leaps out of bed and drinks the hot cup of wine provided by his servant. Then he dons his armour and says to the servant with a smile: “Thank you Trevor, a fine warm Rioja for a splendid day!”

“This was my feeling also, Sire. I am exceedingly glad you agree.”

With but a nod Gerald snatches his sword and bounds out of the master bedroom and down the narrow corridor accompanied by the happy clanging of chain-mail and enthusiasm.

The next half-hour is passed in much the same way as we might pass our own mornings: a hot coffee beside a roaring fire; a thick chunk of ham on a slab of freshly baked bread soaked in homemade butter.

Next: a plate of boiled potatoes in a thick garlic sauce and slices of lean pork-loin topped with roasted almonds; a bowl of steaming cabbage and a pint of rich ale bring the meal to a finish.

The end of the nightly fast has been reached and Gerald sighs in appreciation.

Thus breakfast is completed!

With a stretch and a groan (not at the fact that it is time to leave, but in sorrowful recognition of his increasing girth), old Gerald regains his feet and makes for the doors.

On the gravel of the driveway Gerald’s steed awaits: a beautiful blue unicorn (of Irish stock) going by the name of Gleespring; “Good morning Sir Gerald,” greets the creature (Gerald is not really a “Sir”; this is but a long standing joke the two have developed).

“And to you, my oldest and most loyal companion!” Gerald answers sincerely (this is also pure hyperbole, yet another joke between the two; in truth Gerald has only known the Unicorn for two years, his true oldest friend is his cactus, which has been on his nightstand for nigh on twenty decades – but that is another story… ).