Night. Suddenly something blinded me. At first thought it was a lantern.
But he could not shine so bright. He blinded me, then faded.
Went on again and again went out. This was repeated once again.
-Do not believe it! Grandma could not speak the truth. It is reading too much coca-old books.
None who are not born, that would die for me. I am a thief. Addict. Abomination of this land.
I do not want salvation! Better to die: one will be less disgusting.
 Someone will be easier to live. I want to die! Death!
All the people I robbed and who inflicted the pain, they want my death.
No, not all. I do not want.
-Then what do you want?
-To help you …
-I? bad men? No need me to your Weave!
“I do not think so.
-Get away from me, go away!
-Do not know what to ask .. Another nail, another blow …
-What are your nails, what blows? You do not know what a pain.
 As for your birth mother dies. They kill his father.
And you stay with her grandmother.
She also goes after them. Boarding. Home and school – the street.
For what? No justice! There is no God! And if there is, he is born, not love,
 and anger and hatred!
-Listen. All die sooner or later. Even I have passed through death.
And your mother now, well, they rejoice. And yearn for you.
They want, what would the death of you were with them.
-With them? Who are you?
-You know who J.
-No. No. You’re just a delusion in my head.
Brad not crucified. Brad did not die for the sake of life, such as you.
 Brad is not resurrected … And I was raised …
-So … You’re truly the Son of God …
Tears. Drop by drop, falling to the ground. Like a heavy bag lying on my back.
Something gripped my chest. It’s – conscience. It hurts, it hurts.
Before the dose was not so easy. (Fallen. On the damp earth. )
-Lord Forgive me … Forgive me! Forgive me for having caused you pain …
Forgive me for sins … I was wrong … Help me. Change me … Lord!

Going home again saw a bright light that showed me the right way …