Chapter Fourteen

            I’m going to try and start over, I think. I think that would be best for me and for this novel. And by start over I mean start a new chapter and pretend as if none of this ever happened. And then I’ll give you some life lessons to help you live your life. Don’t worry. Keep reading. The life lessons are coming. I’ll help you live your life as soon as I straighten out mine. Because guess what? Guess what I found in my bed this morning? Guess what I found in my bed!

            I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t an antelope and it wasn’t a man.

            Unfortunately.

            Unfortunately about the man part, I mean. Not the antelope. Who wants an antelope in their bed?

            I’ll give you a hint: it rhymes with “shmuggies.”

            Did you get it yet?

            I’ll give you some time to think about it.

Chapter Fifteen

            Keep thinking about it!

Chapter Sixteen

            Have you got it yet?

Chapter Seventeen

            Buggies!

Chapter Eighteen

            Sorry, don’t mind Chapter Seventeen. I couldn’t help myself but give it away. I found buggies in my bed! Can you believe it? Bugs were in my bed.

And I don’t mean the small ones.

Chapter Nineteen

            Sorry I haven’t written for awhile.

            I just got the buggies exterminated. Hopefully I can sleep all right now. Even though my bed smells like the exterminator. Kind of musty. But I don’t mind. I kind of liked the exterminator anyway.

            I think I’ll eat something now. Perhaps a peach. Or a pear. Or maybe a prune.

            I don’t know why I just wrote that. I hate prunes. Really, I do.

            Come to think of it, I don’t especially like pears or peaches either.

            I haven’t had a pear for a long while, though. So I could very well have gotten over my dislike of pears by now.

            As for peaches, they scare me.

            Pears don’t scare me.

But as for peaches, I’m finally able to admit it.

I am scared by peaches.

I’m sorry.

            But as for pears, I don’t know why I haven’t tried one in a long while.

            Force of habit, I guess.

            I could try one now, though. To experiment.

            Why not?

Chapter Twenty

            I just tried a pear. It was soggy.

            Now I remember why I don’t especially like pears.