Snails have always been in our midst, but do we ever really care about what they do? One young grandmother even won a world championship race with one, called Sydney. It is unclear whether the sporting snail had been tested for doping as generally snail’s blue slime could easily forensically reveal whether it had been fed with Viagra or not. This hard-core report reveals it all.
It took months of preparations and hundreds oif kilos of salad to train Sydney the snail, who just recently became the World Champion sprinter on the 33cm flat race organised by a village fete in Congham, located in the United Kingdom’s East Anglia county of Norfolk. The under-ranked world championship was won by the gastropod in a mere 3 minutes and 41 seconds. His/her prize was reportedly a silver bowl filled with the best salad money caan buy. If snail racing competitions were organised by FIFA, then at least 200 million global fans would have been glued to their television sets to see the snail pass the finish line. However it turns out that only malonchologists and snail fans were effected by the extraordinary achievement. The snail’s 62-year-old owner allegedly has even faster snails, but could not bring them to the world championship, as reportedly by the time she bent down to pick them up – swooosh away they slid. Nevertheless owner Claire Lawrence was reportedly happy to win the silver bowl even with her slower prodigy.
Currently there are no comments related to "Hardcore: Sydney The Snail – a Serious Story". You have a special honor to be the first commenter. Thanks!
Welcome to Authspot, the spot for creative writing.
Read some stories and poems, and be sure to subscribe to our feed!