I felt something sharply prodding my left side, it hurt a little but didn’t completely phase me. I was deep into my favorite dream and wasn’t about to stop. I turned over onto my left side trying hard not to wake up and ignore the pain. My dream is at the crux, I am a Feudal Lord and Sage (my girlfriend ) is my wench and she is showing me just how beholden she is to me.

  I LOVE THIS DREAM! However, something is wrong Sage is naked and that’s right on time, but she is turning into a steaming, melting pile of shit! Worst of all I could smell it! The smell is so strong and so real, I begin to choke and retch. This is crazy I need to wake up now! I tossed and turned until I thought I woke completely up. I began gagging because I could still smell the odor of shit! I rubbed my eyes in between gags, didn’t I wake up ? Was I still asleep? Things just didn’t look right, the light in the room was an eerie luminescent glow and a fog or smoke crept across the floor as if alive. I didn’t smell anything burning therefore it was no fire, so it was some sort of weird indoor fog. (Huh?)

   At this point I realized that something else is not quite right. The pile of shit is gone and Sage is missing! And Harold the wonder dog too! (Sage and Harold are always in my dreams) I called out to Sage and hurriedly closed my mouth to keep the putrid odor from rushing down my throat. She didn’t respond. (OK, maybe she went for a snack) Next I whistle for Harold very briefly and he too does not respond. (OK, maybe Sage and Harold were together elsewhere in this dream)

  I wanted to venture out of my bed but I was just too nauseated and slightly afraid. Then a bright idea hit me – This really is a nightmare and I am still dreaming! I only thought I woke up. I laid back down thinking, when I do wake up this will all be gone and I’ll have a good laugh. I can’t wait to tell Sage about this one. I tried to get comfortable but

Somehow I couldn’t so instead I just cowered and hid under my covers. For some reason everything is so real, too real.       This is the last time I will eat tacos right before going to bed.

  I squeezed my eyes tight attempting to bring on sleep. I almost drifted off when I thought a heard a muffled scream – I laughed quietly “Ha, Ha” although nothing was funny.

   I tried to drift off once more but this time, a loud buzzing and panting noises stopped me  – just what the hell is going on! This time I sat up angrily, throwing the covers to the side but careful not to let them drop on the floor. I clapped angrily two times, above my head (using the clapper is much better than looking for a light switch).I thought the shedding of light would dissipate my 3-d nightmare. Shit! it didn’t work! things looked a whole lot worse in the light. I was so shocked at what I saw – I forgot about the smell and screamed! What a mistake! A giant fly with a Pit bull’s head watched me from the corner window – it drooled and laughed as I retched and retched. I repeatedly slapped my own face hoping I could snap myself out this delirium. Of course this didn’t work – it only made matters worse because the fly fell over reeling with laughter. With tears finding a trail down my face, I venture another look around. I hold onto clumps of blanket to steady myself, It feels as if I am on some vicious ride. Each horror in my room swirled into sight as I sat rigid, all my anger is gone and fear holds me prisoner.

   The line separating the two worlds of  my reality and my nightmare have become mutable. First comes Harold, he’s dressed in an S&M costume (for dogs?!) he had on a black leather hood, his eyes and muzzle were exposed and an all over leather body suit with only his genitalia exposed. He was pumping furiously away at a dog with huge human brown breasts with pulsating nipples and long black hair that fell in waves along the back. I was too shocked to speak, I could only mutter unintelligibly. With every pump, it’s head banged into my closet door – this didn’t phase her/it at all – in fact she began to laugh maniacally like a hyena and then she spoke “Now that’s what I call banging!” immediately after it spoke, Harold falls off of her either from death or exhaustion, I don’t care what the reason is as long as he stopped. I cry silently for my poor dog and I pray to wake up really soon. Real or not I just couldn’t take much more.

   I lean slightly over the edge of the bed looking for Harold’s body. I saw it moving towards the fly with help of the fog. She then stood up on her back haunches exposing her semi – human torso – she had a human vagina too! And it dripped a purple viscous fluid. At that time she directed her attention to me and spoke “Want some big boy?” with this question she spread her legs even further and a giant roach crawled out. I couldn’t gag, or retch or scream. I could only watch as shock took over.

    Next, Sage appears in front of me, (her image is obscured by a dark shadow but I knew it was her) – I instantly reached out to her but withdrew quickly when I realized what was going on. It appeared that Sage was being held hostage by a demon! The shadow that almost engulfed her moved slightly forward allowing me to fully view both it and her. It stood about 8 feet, (before moving it just didn’t look that large). Its head was shaped like a horse, the face bore some equine features, the eyes, the nose and the mouth. His hair was in an Afro. His Body was extremely muscular, he stood upright although the bottom half of his body was similar to a horses rear. He wore black work boots on his hooves but was nude everywhere else. When I saw the boots on his hooves I almost laughed out loud but I was just too damned terrified to remain amused. His upper body was human, it was a nice medium shade of brown, and he had human arms, hands, chest and abs. And, worst of all he had a horses phallus that was erect! Sage stood perfectly still except for slight tremors running through her body. Her cheeks were tear stained. Her mouth was gagged by putridly dirty underwear, and I could swear I saw bugs moving around in her mouth! Her hands were bound together

 with what looked like intestines. I managed to weakly call her however, from her lack of a response she didn’t seem to hear or couldn’t react. Her eyes bulged out of their sockets and stared at the erect phallus (which pulsated with a life of its own ) Oh, shit! was she turned on or scared! The demon spoke to me as he fondled Sage’s breasts. She reacted to this – she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head no. I gripped the blanket hard wanting to break his neck but I was afraid to move. Why was I so afraid of a dream?

   Then the demon spoke, “Yeah, that’s right I got your girl Bitch! She wants me now, I know how to please her – I can make her happy”

   As he spoke his phallus moved – I watched it bounce and sway as if I was being hypnotized. Suddenly, I realized what I was doing – I pinched my arm and pulled my hair. I can’t believe I can’t snap out of this! This is not real! I yelled. Then something flew in my mouth and it wasn’t a bug. I didn’t dare, keep it in my mouth a second longer so I pulled it out and looked. What I saw in my hand I will never forget – It was a turd!, I just took a turd out of my mouth! Before I could even react to the turd, something hit me on the head and then landed on the blanket in front of me. It was another turd! Thereafter began a deluge of turds raining down but only on me. Sage cringed in my direction, her eyes looked so tired and so sad. I ducked under the blanket for protection. I could hear that damn hyena laugh and that buzzing started again. My blanket became so heavy I had to do something so I yelled that’s enough!  – stop! Magically the turd rain stopped but, what was next? As I came out from under the blanket, I noticed Harold the wonder dog – he was up and pumping again, this time not as vigorously. His partner was no longer laughing, she just drooled. After a minute or so, she just pushed him off of her and stated. “Well now that is just boring, I need some better action.” With that said she turned to the demon with Sage and quipped “Lets kill them now , I want to smell fresh human blood and use his balls (pointing to me) as a pretty, pretty necklace.” I tried to protest but I found my mouth, locked shut. The demon roared with laughter as he watched me struggle, with my locked jaw. I pulled and punched, held my nose but nothing worked, my mouth would not open. Why was I so helpless? And when the hell was I going to wake up! 

   As I began to cry out of frustration, the demon with Sage in tow moved towards me  – A large sickle appeared in midair. The demon loosened his grip on sage. “I want to hear him scream!” The she demon yelled. That’s when I felt the lock on my mouth release and was able to talk. “Just you try, asshole I’m not afraid of you, either of you.” The demon moved away from Sage and focused on me, I didn’t flinch – I just watched the sickle. When I realized Sage was free I yelled “Sage I love You run!” I boldly started to step down off the bed, to run with Sage when I felt something pinch me I looked own and saw a gigantic roach/crab with human eyes, pinching me with crab claws. I was surrounded by them! I screamed and shook my foot loose and angrily watched Sage attempt her escape. I thought the she – demon would try to stop her but it was so focused on my upcoming suffering and demise, that it just watched the action between me, the roach/crab and horse boy. Sage ran out of the bedroom door and re-appeared out of the closet. She did this twice before she realized just how futile her running was. Finally Sage came to a stand still and both demons laughed hysterically as Sage cried silent tears. The onset of a sick headache made the sickle a moving blur to me, I watched it swing like a pendulum coming closer and closer. Both demons giggled and their friend the fly buzzed even louder. Suddenly, the room started to shake violently, at first I thought it was me just spasing out but, I noticed the walls cracked and the bed moved. I cheered! Anything was better than this or was it?! The sickle now directly at my throat disappeared and the demon fog scattered. Both demons froze where they stood they weren’t laughing anymore. I stopped cheering too, after all if they seemed to be scared maybe I should be shitting. A hole opened up in the floor and an elevator came out of nowhere, they fly demon actually hid behind my curtains and both demons bowed towards the hole, I also noticed horse boy visibly shaking in his boots. Ohh, SHIT!  Sage rushed  over to the bed and sat down allowing me to untie her it was disgusting, I gagged a little while doing it but I didn’t care my girl was free! We held onto each other tightly – a bit more than fear controlled us. We  watched the elevator rise – what the hell was coming? What the hell were demons afraid of? A stark cold engulfed the room, and the stench of many rotting corpses rose with the elevator. At the top of the elevator flew fluorescent snakes snapping at the air, a thing that was half male, half female (in the torso, but all demon everywhere else)  began to appear. The she demon immediately rushed over and whined in a baby voice “Mommy/Daddy what are you doing here is that a new perfume? “You look so beautiful today.” … “ I was just coming to see you .” The thing reached out and caressed it’s face and then squeezed it’s neck and spoke in a thousand tormented screams “How many times have I told you not to fuck with these humans! I decide when Hell breaks loose not you and your retarded brother and “What the hell is that you have on !”  it screamed turning to horse boy “Take that shit off, it does not make you more attractive!” …” “And what the hell do you want human females for, they are hideous!”  

   We watched as horse boy peeled out of its costume, what we saw we found amusing, the head was like an under developed fetus, the torso was terribly skinny like a very malnourished human and the limbs were like that of a roach. It dropped its head and headed towards the elevator. The she demon was already inside nervously playing with the snakes.

   Sage and I watched, we held onto each other expectantly. We were almost relieved until the elder demon turned in our direction. The fly demon shivered behind my bedroom  curtain “And you what the hell kind of baby sitter are you? You just let them run rampant?! You let them do any thing they want? … It is back to the sewers for you …For now on you can baby-sit shit!” The fly demon moved from behind the curtain and maneuvered towards the elevator, the elder demon swatted it flat against the wall, then peeled it off and crumbled it up and threw it to the she demon, she held onto the ball.

   Then it turned to us,  both Sage and I became torn between fear and relief. We held onto each other even tighter, I whispered an almost silent prayer.

   “Cut that nonsense out !” it screamed at me … “I am so sorry … kids they can’t wait to grow up … they never listen …and good help is hard to find.”

   It reached down and touched Harold, he jumped back up to life, and ran over to me and jumped on the bed, grateful for his freedom from torment and the S&M outfit was gone, THANK GOD!

    The demon backed up into the elevator and just before it began its descent, it stated “Oh, by the way FYI, Hell will Break Loose, it will start here and I will be back! With that the elevator descended, the hole closed up and instant alleviation ensued.

   Needless to say, Sage and I are moving ASAP…….