I have often felt culpable turning down requests, especially when in a good position to respond positively. However it’s now becoming clear to me that not all help is help after all.
Tanou, a cousin of mine loves to drink alcohol and is also a compulsive gambler. He always seems to have enough funds to feed this babies of his because he has a good job and gets a somewhat capacious paycheck every fortnight. We grew up together and 11 years after we graduated from high school it never stops to amaze me why he still lives in a rented apartment, drives a convertible and make some of the unexplainable trips round the country without his heart jumping out of his thoracic cavity screaming “Man I’m feeling this cash crunch more than you… so keep the cash outflow on the low ok!”
Cuz Tanou is 28 years old. Same as me and is now thinking of settling down. Knowing what I know about him I felt like pulling soumi aside to tell her to cut the crap and go and find someone else to marry when he first introduced her to me.
Soumi is a journalist, drives her own car, lives in her own house, & even does some marketing business alongside. Tanou runs up to me two days ago and requests for a favor. Yeah that’s the keyword there – favor. 25k to finance his wedding plans and get a home. Right there and then I became limp. What should I do? Tanou’s my cousin, his parents have been very wonderful to me plus these are invaluable things to use 25k for. At least so I thought at first, and most of all I did not like the idea of turning him down. But deep down something wormy danced within. Loaning tanou that money would not be in his best interest. What if he got the loan from somebody else? Another thought ran across my mind as I stared at him agape. Should I begin raking him over the coals yet again? – Drinking, inadequate planning, impulse spending, Gambling, and now marriage without planning!!! Maybe I’m just overthinking. I can as well ask him what his plans are after he gets married. Gosh! I’m so mixed up right now.
In actual sense, I think I should stamp my feet on the ground. I’ve baled him out of rental back-payments about 8 times yet he wants to buy a house and marry a wife on borrowed money… would I be helping him or killing him? Oh! Someone answer me, is this help? Or do I need some help myself?