What I Think

By Dr. Yum E. Potato

   It’s all the humans fault. They keep complaining about this depression, but if they hadn’t spent so much in the 20’s, then this might not have happened. If they hadn’t started buying on margin, then they might not be missing hundreds of dollars from the closed banks. They might actually be able to buy things other than my relatives, and our cousins the beans.  And who knows, maybe the stock market mightn’t have crashed.

   And if the stock market hadn’t crashed, well, the stockholders wouldn’t have all gone rushing to get their money from the bank. And, in response, they wouldn’t have closed due to bankruptcy.  

   But the stock market did crash, and the banks did close, and now, this nation has become so poor that people are committing suicide. Talk about land of the free. And this is real bad, ‘cause now, all people can afford are my family, the Beans, Bread and Soup. And, if you don’t have at least two cents, which is now worth about two dollars, well, you might not even be able to afford that. Think of that! Your life depending on the cost of me and my brothers and sisters!

   People here on the farm are becoming real depressed, and Aunt Suzie sent a letter from New York (before she was buttered) that said all was not well there either. People are selling their houses, their cars, just to be able to know where dinner will come from.  My raisers here on the farm even have to worry about getting dust in their eyes. Everyone is worried. The only hope comes from Roosevelt’s promise to help us. He is pretty much our last hope; if he don’t come through, we’re doomed.

   I may be a potato, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings. It is a terrible thing to see the people who planted me and helped me grow be in so much pain. Those Homo sapiens might have brought it upon themselves, but no-one deserves that much worry.  

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the government saved us. Thank goodness for the new government relief program! Just imagine if that hadn’t happened-I don’t even want to go there.   I hope man-kind has learned its lesson. Though I highly doubt it.

Men are greedy.  Someday they will want more, and this will all happen again. People will lose their money their jobs – but it might not be everyone’s fault.  I mean, even if half the population runs out of money, the other half will have to pay for it. Through taxes, business’s being closed down, and other things. And all because of greed. Thank goodness potatoes don’t have to deal with that. Hey…….what are you getting out a pot and a butter knife for!? Excuse me! Spud rights!