A black comedy of manners.
How to deal with sexual deviation in a small English village
A Novel
By
Roy Gould
Chapter One
How a perfectly good Sunday morning was ruined
“Mrs. Bowman-Leggett, Mrs. Bowman-Leggett!”
Beryl Turner banged on Chantry Bowman-Leggett’s kitchen door with such force the glass rattled.
“What ever is it dear?” Asked Mrs. Bowman-Leggett as she opened the door before Beryl broke it in.
“It’s the Old Rectory,” exclaimed Beryl, “Something’s happened; something dreadful.”
“Nothing worse than normal, I expect. Nothing worse than normally happens there once a month.” Chantry Bowman-Leggett said in a dismissive voice turning back to pour in hot water to warm her teapot.
“Oh, it’s a lot worse” interjected Beryl, stifling a sob.
“Oh, come now, what have those deviants been doing this time?” Chantry ladled two spoons of breakfast tea into the teapot.
“They’re dead.”
The kettle screamed. Chantry Bowman-Leggett, however, did not. She turned back to face Beryl.
“Dead?”
Beryl nodded her head and sobbed.
“Show me” said Mrs. Bowman Leggett.
“Oh, I couldn’t go back there” Beryl said through her tears. “Shouldn’t we call the Police?”
“Not yet.” Chantry Bowman-Leggett’s eyes narrowed.
“Constable Deeley will be here soon. We must show him” Beryl wiped her nose.
Mrs. Bowman-Leggett took Beryl Turner firmly by the shoulders, crouched a little in order to look her in the eyes and said “Pull yourself together and show me the bodies.”
Beryl shuddered and made a whimpering noise.
Some of the bodies lay naked on the gravel driveway outside the front door of the Old Rectory. Chantry picked her way over one of them and went in. Two bodies lay in crumpled balls at the foot of the stairs.
Beryl’s whole body shook as she sobbed into her handkerchief. “We shouldn’t be here.” She muttered from the doorway. “It’s a crime scene. We really shouldn’t disturb anything, surely?”
“Beryl, if you insist on wittering, then I must ask you to stay down here whilst I go upstairs and investigate.” snapped Chantry.
Beryl gingerly stepped over a man’s naked body and followed Mrs. Bowman-Leggett up the main staircase.
Other bodies of both gender were still in or on the beds. Two were hanging from shackles with rubber masks on and nothing else. One had an apple in its mouth.
Standing erect Chantry Bowman-Leggett turned to her companion.
“Beryl, you are to assemble the Village Committee just inside the gates to the driveway immediately. Do not tell them why they are being assembled.”
“What if they don’t want to come? It’s Sunday morning, they might still be in bed.” Whimpered Beryl
“Just tell them that Mrs. Bowman-Leggett has said it is an emergency. They’ll come.”
To be continued…………….
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