I love Coimbra, it is a magical city and I try and go there at least a few times a month. Having lunch by the river watching the world go by has got to be the most serene way to spend a few hours. On my last trip, however, I didn’t get to sit by the river as I was in a bit of a rush and had only managed to run into The Forum for quick supplies and then run out again. I thought ‘not bad timing, I have got all I need in 40 minutes, am back on the IC2 and I will be home before the eeee say doishe prostitutes have had time to say ‘next please’. I was in no major traffic as it was before the rush hour and I had nothing else to stop for, so I figured the ice cream would be more than safe in the back of my car. But I thought wrong.

I’m keeping a list of important things to remember about Portugal, and at the moment this is number one on the list: Just running in and running out of somewhere in Portugal is not the same as it is anywhere else in the world. Unless of course you are driving at the time, in which case the Portuguese do run in, run out, run over, run through and run off. I have seen cars so tight to the rear of my car, I could see the driver’s nasal hair. The other day one guy was driving so fast and just couldn’t wait to overtake me and zoom off down the road. When I reached where I was headed (i.e. the next turning), there was ‘I-cant-possibly-drive-behind-you-I-have-a-life-threatening-moment-and-must-overtake-now-now-now’ dickhead standing by the side of the road, chatting on his cell phone while casually removing his jacket and locking his car. He was in no hurry whatsoever, so what made him risk life and limb a minute prior to that? Did someone offer to write off Portugal’s trade deficit if it could break the world land speed record in a built up area between the hours of dawn and dusk?

Anyway, apart from the driving, everything else in Portugal is ‘no stress, stop rushing, relax’. I like that as it rubs off on me. However, when you have two tubs (buy one get one free) of your favourite ice cream in the boot, things can take on a little bit more urgency.