Life with anxiety.

The seizure she had broke me. It made pass out randomly. It made me develop anxiety, and along with that came OCD and depression. It made me a constant worrier, claustrophobic, hate big crowd, hate classrooms with the door closed kind of person. Today, I can’t wear the color shirt she was wearing or the color shirt I was wearing. I flinch at the time it happened and feel depressed on the anniversary of the date. I hate math because that’s where it happened and I hate my old school because that’s where I am the most anxious.  However, that seizure caused me to have emotions. My emotions are more passionate, more rich, and I can feel twenty times more things than other people dream to feel in their lifetime. My anxiety has taught me patience and understanding of others and myself. It’s taught me how to face fears, how to have faith how to believe. Bottom line is I hated how my friend had that seizure. And I always wonder what I would be like if it didn’t happen. Perhaps I wouldn’t have had to transfer, perhaps I wouldn’t always need to see a therapist, and perhaps I wouldn’t always be afraid. But, my mother says that random acts happen just to make sure we’re awake. God doesn’t want us to fall asleep on life and just walk down the road without looking for another. I’m fully awake and I have my anxiety to thank for that.

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