This can’t be right. Must be a dream. But here I am. President of the United States. The oval office, the big desk. Here comes somebody. Looks like a nice lady. I hope so. Are they all going to be nice at first? See what I can do. What I can’t. I’m terrified.
A large, jovial, red cheeked, middle aged woman walks to me and extends her hand.
“Good morning sir. My name is Carla Grams.”
My hand clasps her cold white hand. Bad circulation? “A pleasure to meet you.”
Better be nice to her, my stomach tells me. “As you may have heard, I’m in charge of the kitchen. I wonder if there are any special foods you would like us to prepare for you while you are here?”
Here goes, the first major decision. I am the ultimate role model. Father America. Everything I do or say will be analyzed as if with an electron microscope. My decisions will affect everyone. Some will agree, always there will be those who disagree. Right now I set the tone, tenor, theme, flow of my legacy. Will I do the greatest good for the greatest number, or the greatest good? If they are the same, all the better, my hair won’t grey as fast. Hummmm. Eenie, meenie. Whatever happened to Moe?I pick the greatest good. I will be a statesman, even if I’m only a one term president. I will make myself do the right thing. Who ever knows what the right thing is? Will it turn out right? That is the most important thing.
“I’ll tell you a story and maybe you can help me decide.”
“I’ll try, sir.”
“When Katrina hit I needed to do something. I couldn’t watch it on TV anymore without helping with my life experience. So I joined the Red Cross. They sent me out and gave me a debit card for expenses; I ate at some of the finest restaurants in the area for half price, once they found out I was with the Red Cross they insisted we be discounted as the police and fireman are. I ate few salads, a lot of bread, pasta, rich creams and sauces, sweets. Anyway, after three weeks of this I started to not feel well, my stomach was distressed by the food, my mind from people’s hardships. Once I left New Orleans and returned home, I began to eat home cooked meals, and at least my stomach felt better.”
“This will be your home for the next four years, sir. I will see to it you get home cooked meals.”
“Years later I went to Egypt. No home cooked meals there. But, I consumed a lot of fresh produce. No preservatives. Straight from the farm or sea, and minimally processed if at all. I lost unneeded weight, my skin cleared up, I had more energy. I exercised more and also ate differently. “
“I am sure we could get an expert chef for you who specializes in Egyptian cuisine.”
I wave my hand. “Finally I went into the heart of Africa where we all came from. I ate more plant food as our ancestors did. I ate as they ate. Took what was immediately available to them, and put it into my mouth as they did, and became a new me. I feel, think, and am what I am, better, with the right food.”
“So?”
“I will eat kale and collard greens everyday. I’ve read they have the highest nutritional value per calorie. A wide variety of fruits and vegetables. This will be my starting point. When I have state dinners we will consider intermittent menu breaks that will be discussed at that time. I might be able to stay true to myself then, too, but I am more than a stomach. If something needs to be worked through to achieve a mutually beneficial result, I will sacrifice myself.”
“Will these eating habits be a statement to fight obesity in America?”
“It’s more of a statement of doing the right thing, the natural thing. I believe we come from nature. We are nature. The more we understand about how nature, the universe works, the better we will know who we are. I think I ate closer to nature and that is why I am better for it.”
Carla’s face softens, she leans forward.
“Will you have the windows open?”
“When I can.”
“Go for long walks?”
“As time permits.”
“Go around the White House naked?”
“I don’t think as a society we have reached a level that can do without facades. We have not evolved culturally enough to return to Eden. Maybe by my next term.”