Thoughts.

I wonder sometimes, how you learn to survive,
off of hurt, and pain, and I wait and I wait just for that text to get me up for the day, or even put me to sleep at night,
I don’t know, what you want from me, maybe attention, which you could get from any girl, or if its something much more, that is worth it all. Ill never know, what life will bring me, and throw, but you keep just popping up, in my life, that has to mean something right?
Although we were never really given this significant chance, to really grasp and take a hold of I’d like to swing with you in which ever way the wind takes us, maybe I’m crazy? I’m hallucinating this connection, this
wanna be reward for all our dedication, and then I’m unsure for a split second because at times, it seems like I should walk away to avoid your choices.
At time, I catch myself staring at a blank screen, with my fingers ready to send, what I feel I should tell you then I delete it all cause I don’t want to be the idiot, or the clingy girl on the other end of the phone.
I don’t want to be the dirty little secret, I want you, and you in the open. I want to learn, your favorite color, the reasons why you think the way you do, I want your opinions, I want to know you and everything that comes with it, I want you to know me, and I want to see what we can make of thee.
All that I wanted to do was hold you like I do my best friend, just more passionate feelings, and I wanted to tell you the sweetest words and lullaby I could but the words just never came out, I wanted to kiss you but the moment just kept coming and going, when you touched my face I didn’t know what to do, such a touch made me feel too much.
But I don’t want you to waste my time, and feed me things I wanna hear, so I can wish to be there.
Even if you were wasting my time, you do it beautifully baby, so amazing the words just never come out.
I want, what I can’t have, I guess? I’m too scared to ask you the questions I must, and they are long over due.
In the middle of the night, I guess, Ill leave you a do.
Just know, I miss you, but only if you miss me too.
This passage needs no name, as you read you know its you, and you are who its always been, just a secret of mine, a dirty little secret..

And as for you, who’s so close to me, know that you’re good enough, I just have my mind set on something, I wanna figure out. And I hope its right, because I want this I do in every way shape and form.

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