It was shocking to realize the truth.  He didn’t care, never did and was gone.  Even though she felt it deep inside.  She was trying to be positive.  Holding very still as to not lose grace.  Staying in this state of grace is easy while being honest and pure.  But it didn’t work and happened anyway. Doesn’t the Universe love the truth.  They know it anyways.  Sometimes its hard to be honest with yourself.  You can’t fool yourself you know.  But you can pretend, hoping it will manifest itself anyways.  Still the Universe knows.  It stands by closely waiting to see your reaction I suppose.  Watching you pray and wish and fantasize.  All the while knowing the end result.  Another lesson.  A stupid one really.  One learned long ago and repeated once more, out of love.  Why didn’t it manifest?  It was thought out so well and long.  Maybe it would one day but not today.  Today was astonishing.  Sickening really.  Knowing lessons of life will repeat themselves until learned.  Knowing this it still happens. 

  The Universe still will nourish her.  Leaving an onion by the side of the road.  She picked it up and took it home.  Cut it up and put it in the soup.  The ends cut off and put in the compost bucket.  Then emptied into the compost bin.  The worlds largest spider lives in there.  He is very happy.  His life goes so well.  Everything he wants manifest itself.  Every need.  Every desire.  Every wish comes true for him.  No regret.  No hurt.  No sense of decency.  He is successful.  In abundance. In Ecstasy.  Eventually he will rot and turn to soil.  She will too.

How could she choose so wrong?  She didn’t even choose it.  The Universe did with a lightning strike to her head.  Why did they do that?  There was no hope from the beginning.  It was very aspiring though.  Very happy.  Maybe for a brief moment perfection. Maybe to comfort her mind in a hard time.  She was supposed to move on earlier but didn’t.  Why didn’t she?  She doesn’t know.  She should but doesn’t.  She misses him still.  Yearns for him still.  Wants him still. Doesn’t tie everything together right.  It’s all floating.  The roses will look pretty in the Spring.