“Ooh err grandma sideways underpants in the hedge,” Jesse began mumbling insanely to himself. “King poo dollop underpants king face underwater in the gravestone, get me the fire blanket, get me the fire blanket now, get me the fire blanket I said, are you listening to me? Are you listening to me? Listen to me now!” He stamped his feet like a child.

But they all just looked down at their own work, refusing to give the mad new person any attention.

At lunch time, Jesse went outside to dance round the lake. He immediately removed his trousers. “Ahhh, free at last!” he said as he began to laugh manically.

Everyone looked out the window at him, pointing and shouting, “Get him out of here, he is mad! We don’t want any loonies here!”

Out came the woman with the slapped arse face and shouted at him, “Get back in here and then get out!” Then out came the woman with the fat arms, and she proceeded to dance like a person with a severe physical and mental impairment (or, as they used to be called in Britain in the 1980’s, a “spastic”).

Eventually, his father arrived and explained everything. “This man is not quite right in the head, and although he is my son, he is a lunatic; but we must give him a chance! Without a job, he will just wonder around parks and woodlands in his underpants, talking to the animals!”

At that point, the woman with the slapped arse face, along with the woman with the fat arms, the bent over man, and anther man who had absolutely nothing unusual about him at all, dragged Jesse back into the factory by his ears and nose and shouted at him in unison, “Get back to work!” It was almost like harmonious carol singing. No, more like a barbershop quartet. No. More like dogs barking. No. Like cats mewing? No, no, no. Just like people shouting all at the same time, that’s all.

Somebody broke wind, and this caused Jesse to burst out laughing, at which point he sneezed right into the face of the woman with the slapped arse face, sending her arms flailing everywhere all over the place, until she accidentally hit the big red button clearly labelled, “Never press this button or chaos will happen.”

Suddenly everything was flashing and lots of sounds were happening. Everyone was running around madly without their heads on (metaphorically), until they ran outside, at which point…oooh, lovely sunshine, and relax.

Relax…

No, longer than that.

Relax…

But then suddenly, oh no! A thunderous, rumbling sound, they all looked up, what is that sound? A herd of wild animals was galloping towards them; all of Jesse’s animal friends.

“I’m not staying here,” cried Jesse. “I wouldn’t work here if you paid me!”

“But we were going to pay you!”

“Yes, but not enough, and besides, I like to be paid in pineapples, not money like you stupid normal people!”

The woman with the slapped arse face looked shocked, which made her face look like a big elbow; and the woman with the fat arms waved her arms hysterically in a way that looked they didn’t belong to her and were remote controlled by a nearby hiding insane person. They all gasped.

“I hate you all!” shouted Jesse as he climbed aboard Dave the Weird Elephant; and then, turning to his crowd of animal friends: “Onward, let’s go and meet Dennis the Wise Old Gerbil, to get wise advice about what to do next!…”

To find out what happens when Jesse asks Dennis the Wise Old Gerbil what to do next, read The Adventures of Jesse Mary Jackson, Episode 4: Dennis the Wise Old Gerbil.