Jim Beam just quit his job and thought he’d visit his friend Jack Daniels. Jim reached for the door and it opened. Jack stood in the doorway, eating an oatmeal cookie. “What brings you here at this time?”

“I got fired. The boss needs a major attitude adjustment.”

“Well, I’m on vacation. Want to come along?”

Jack shrugged. “Why the hell not?” He glanced at Jim’s mouth and said, “Hey man, before we go you should know that you have a black tooth.”

“Oh. I want to brush my teeth then. I want to look good if I see a girl. Come on in.”

Jack stepped into the living room and yelled, “Ow! What the fuck?”

A couple seconds later Jim asked, “What the fuck, what?”

“I stepped on a rusty nail and a screwdriver. That’s what. He kicked them aside.

Jim walked back in the living room and said, “Oh yeah. I was gonna do a project earlier, but I passed out and never got back around to it. That was like a week ago.”

“Oh. That happens to me a lot.”

Jim grabbed his keys. “So, are we ready? I’ll drive.”

Once on the highway, Jack said, “I heard there was a mud slide not too far from here.”

“Yeah. The godfather was in it. He’s okay, but said it was a real mind fuck.”

Just then a loud thunderous sound came from Jack. He laughed. “Woo! I thought that was gonna be smaller, like a duck fart.”

“Hot damn! Good thing the windows are open! I bet you have a flaming asshole now.”

“Nah…Hey look! Captain Morgan is hitch hiking.”

Jack slowed down. “I’m gonna pick him up.” He pulled up next to Morgan and said, “Hop in.”

Jim opened his door and Morgan climbed in the back seat. “Ay thanks Jack. Ay Jim.”

Jim looked back. “So, why were you out here Morgan?”

“Arrr…I was looking for a wild turkey, but then I remembered they don’t live around here anymore.”

Jack reached into his pocket and got a small squeezable bottle out. “Anyone want any liquid cocaine?”

Morgan asked, “Ay, it comes in liquid form now?”

Jack handed it back. “Yeah. Here. Just put one or two drops on your toungue.”

Morgan put just two drop on his toungue, then handed it back. Jack put a couple drops on his toungue, then handed it to Jim.

Jack pointed, “Look at that blonde slut. She’s at the beach. We should stop for a while.”

Jim exclaimed, “Hell yeah!”

Morgan shook his head. “I don’t know. Last wench I had, I needed a good mind eraser afterwards. She had a fuzzy navel.”

Jack exclaimed, “Oh, just come on!”

They all got out of the car and walked onto the beach. There was a small explosion nearby. Jim said, “What the fuck was that?”

Jack pointed, “That white russian just threw a jager bomb…Oh hey! Here comes a girl.”

The girl approached them. “Hi. I’m Mary.”

Morgan said, “Arrr! You’re bloody Mary.”

She looked at her arm. “Yeah. Some shrapnel hit me. You know what would make me feel all better?”

Morgan shrugged.

She kissed his neck and whispered, “A slow comfortable screw.”

He said, “Okay. Let’s go! See ya guys.” They walked off.

Jim said, Now, we need to get some.”

The blonde came into view again, but this time a redheaded slut was with her. They came up to the guys. The blonde ran her hand down Jack’s chest. “We should have sex on the beach.”

Without even saying anything, the redhead got on her knees in front of Jim. She undid his pants and started to give him a blow job.

Jack felt the blonde’s wet pussy with his fingers as he gave her a slippery nipple with his toungue. He went down on her and gave her a screaming orgasm.

An El Camino pulled up and honked. Jack exclaimed, “Hey! It’s Jose Cuervo!”

“Que pasa, hombres?”

Jack said, “We’re on cloud 9 with these girls.”

The redhead removed her mouth from Jim’s dick and cum shot all over her face.

A cop car pulled up and Jose said, “Adios mother fucker!” He got back in his car and sped off.

The cop got out. “Hey, that’s illegal here in Alabama.” He got his handcuffs out.

Jim and Jack tried to hurry putting their clothes on. The cop put the handcuffs on them. “You’re going to the Alabama slammer.”

Jack was thrown into the back of the cop car after he tried head butting the cop.

Jim got in the cops face. “What about the chicks? You gonna arrest them?”

The blonde put an arm around the cop. “Nope. He’s going to take us to his house and tie me to the bed post.”