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 A woman was returning after eating a heavy meal when she got home her husband  tied an thick cloth on her eyes and made her sit on a chair he told her that it was a surprise

suddenly the phone rang the man went to pick up the phone meanwhile the wife said to herself

those peas i ate are giving me gas i cant hold it she said  she decided to do it she through out about ten atomic bombs and then fanned away the air with her napkin

her husband came and said sorry for the delay he then opened the cloth !

and the wife was gravely shocked as twelve people at the dining table sang happy birthday to her with nose clips on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me….

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my mp3 play