“This is insanely bogus. Craziness. I’m NOT giving them my cell phone; they can pry it out of my cold dead hands.” 

Wilson knew this was coming, Brittany had not listened, not heeded any of his suggestions and now the court had handed down its verdict. It did seem a little harsh for a third time offender, but Brittany was still young at forty-seven and they could have commuted her sentence a little. 

“I have all my contacts in here, my bff lists, my play lists for every ocassion, my personally customized ring tones and I will not deprive my Twitter followers on account of some ridiculous, bogus verdict.” 

“Brit, honey, you have to or they will extend the duration of your sentence.”

”Oh, they think they will. I’ll just bluetooth my files to another phone before I hand it over to them.” 

“Brit, they’ll order a body search then.” Wilson cautioned. 

“My ass they will.” 

“That’s right and a few other orafices.” reminded Wilson. 

Brittany threw her fully loaded Louis Vuitton purse, all ten pounds of it, at his head. “You’re brutal Wilson, brutal, do you hear me?” 

Wilson had purchased an expensive Iphone for his fiancee loaded with all the bells and whistles. She had become bored with her old cell and wanted more “connectivity” or she threatened to twist off.  Everything would have been fine if she hadn’t started proclaiming the cell phone as her lifeline. With it she had become a world class Twitter text-er. Wilson didn’t understand the  finer points of texting and mobil social networking, but he loved her and humored her idiosyncrasies. 

In an attempt to distract her obsessive focus on her cell phone, for her birthday he bought her a Porsche Boxster. He assumed driving a high performance vehicle would take her mind off all the texting; besides no one could possible operate a sports car and text at the same time could they? Brittney proved him wrong. She was pulled over doing ninety on the expressway while one-handed thumb-texting and down shifting at the same time going into an off ramp. The State Trooper wasn’t amused and when he interrupted her Twitter update, she went ballistic on him. That pretty much sealed her conviction. At her hearing she didn’t come off as remorseful. In fact, Martha Stewart and Paris Hilton acted more remorseful. Wilson knew Brittany’s citing Lindsey Lohan’s DUI defense from a Titter tweet was the proverbial last nail.