Keepers of Dreams

– An unabridged essay by Desmond Boulevard, as inspired by Amanda “the helper monkey trainer”, Wendy “the traveling chocolate lover” and Douglas “The imaginary dragon slayer”.

The midgets that dwell upon the earth keep my dreams safe in their heads and will some day let those dreams loose to be realized. But only when the rainbow colored unicorn rides again. At that time I will slide down the chocolate waterfall into the land of citrus where I will live out my days under a giant lemon tree and eat of its bitter sweet fruits.

Until then, however, the little people of the land shall be known as the “keepers of dreams” and must be held as something close to sacred.  They should be celebrated through ceremonial dwarf-tossing onto large pieces of hook and loop fabric while donning over-sized helmets, tights that are too tight and bi-focal goggles.  Laughing, snapping and farting while they fly through the air, a tremendous sight indeed.

My fear though is that the prophesied rainbow colored unicorn may never return to release the dreams from the midgets tiny, dense, yet overloaded minds. Myself along with the rest of the “dreamers and doers” will be destined to ride small ponies, train ukulele playing helper monkeys that smoke cigars and raise crops of purple cabbage for eternity and a day whilst we wait.

I will continue to keep my eyes on the large cumulus clouds of which the unicorn is known to ride upon and I will keep dreaming and riding and training and farming of the cabbage and tossing midgets onto Velcro until my days come to an end.  In retrospect, an eternity of watching little people fly through the air and stick to walls is not as bad as having no midgets to entertain us at all.

What do my dreams consist of? Besides chocolate and lemon? A question that only I and 1.2 million people under the height of 3’-6” can answer.  A secret well guarded and hidden away from prying eyes, prying minds, prying hands and prying bars by a people who posses overly large “glute” muscles that can double as a shelf for setting beer cans upon.  Who else would one want to hold their dreams?  But I will tell you this, a lesson I have learned while dwelling in the house of the shinless – Step lightly for you know not who or whom you may step upon.  “Oh, excuse me I didn’t see you there”.  A witty reply, “You lofty piece of donkey crap, you just stepped on me”.  They are a short but mean, mean people.  I suppose growing up without shins and having huge rear ends would make any sane or partially sane person angry to some degree.

Now I set out upon my pony for purple acres upon purple acres, watching where I step, listening to Hawaiian music played by a dung slinging primate named “Doo Doo”, scanning the skies and being ever vigilant.  Patiently waiting for the Rainbow Colored Unicorn and dreaming of the day where chocolate dipped, over-sized novelty lemons will be my food of choice.  Watch where you step my friends; do not squish the Keepers of Dreams.