I have taught for nearly forty years and the last twenty of those were spent in a primary school in East Sussex. There were many happy years there and though the children could be difficult at times, their behaviour was nothing compared to that of certain members of staff.

Fortunately the entire staff had a wonderful sense of humour and any monotony in our daily lives was quickly relieved by carrying out practical jokes which were often delivered in my direction.

I was the proud owner of a really comfortable but shabby and old rocking chair. I loved that chair and spent many a quiet moment rocking myself back to normality after a particularly trying lesson. Nobody was allowed to sit in it. If they did they were soon ejected, even the visitors.

On more than one occasion my beloved chair disappeared, and I still remember those supposedly innocent faces when I demanded to know its whereabouts.

The first time it went missing there was a timid knock at the staffroom door. I stormed to it and threw it open (I am quite a good actor) to find a little year two child trembling at the sight of this rather large and very angry teacher glaring down at him. In his hand he clutched a rather tatty bit of paper which he thrust at me and then ran away, glad to escape. Believe it or not it was actually a ransom note demanding two coffees and a plate of biscuits for the return of the chair, or it would go on the bonfire which had been built on the field for Guy Fawkes Night. There came a loud roar just then from outside, and I ran to the window to see my chair in the middle of the playground with my teacher assistant sitting on it surrounded by the whole of the lower school all dancing up and down with glee at the look on my face.

Needless to say I did not succumb to the ransom but charged out there (I’m rather fast on my feet), brandishing my bommy knocker, a rather threatening, large cardboard tube. At the sight of me the children dispersed rather quickly, leaving me to clout the culprit soundly round the head until she surrendered the chair.

On another occasion it went missing and though I searched as hard as I could, the chair was no where to be found. This time, after a knock at the door, one of my own class reported that I was needed to carry out first aid on an injured child in the school hall. I went running in to find the hall full of people all staring in wonder at the very high ceiling. I looked up rather puzzled to see…. yes you’ve guessed it……my chair was hanging way above everyone’s head from the ceiling, and in the corner of the room, chuckling behind their hands, stood two very naughty male members of staff. They had used ropes and pulleys to drag the chair up there. It was such a funny sight I couldn’t keep a straight face and collapsed into peals of laughter quickly followed by everyone else in the hall.

These are only a couple of the adventures I have had as a teacher. I sometimes really miss it, but there are lots of fond memories.

Christine Ramsay