Boredom and insensitivity drive a group of suburban teens down a road of crime destruction and death. Detective Jake Carpenter scrambles to try to limit the losses.

If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? Well, that’s the age-old philosopher’s question and I’ve never heard the definitive answer, but right now I was wondering if it applied to a young girl’s scream on a deserted city street late at night. It was now early morning, and cold, so cold. And I’m sure that with the wind whipping around the corners of downtown’s high rise buildings, as it had been several hours earlier, it had to have been even worse. Wind chills must have reached at least zero maybe even five below. And there had been snow. At least five or six inches had drifted up along the windward side of the young girl’s body. But this was Rochester in February, I thought with a shoulder shrug, standard stuff. If those two little kids hadn’t missed the school-closing announcement on the radio and after bundling up at home headed out the door for the bus stop, she might have lain there for another hour at least, before being found.

I had arrived at my desk early this morning hoping to catch up on some paper work from a case I’d cleared just the day before when the call came in from the desk downstairs. I was the only detective in the squad room at the time so by process of elimination; I caught the case. Rochester was becoming quite a shooting gallery these days, what with an the drugs coming through from downstate, and the whole squad was beginning to show the strain. I’d had my gold rt sshield for four years now and each year the caseload just kept climbing.                         .

I stopped back at my apartment quickly to dress a little warmer.With a thick wool topcoat over a bulky ski sweater and long underwear under a pair of Levi corduroys, a pair of Timberland fleece lined boots and gloves, which made it difficult but not impossible to scribble in my notebook, I was still freezing. Years before my brother had given me a satin lined, rabbit skin pillbox hat, which had to be the ugliest hat in creation. But it was warm and today I was willing to sacrifice vanity for any added warmth I could find.

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Comments (6)
  • RS Wing on Jul 26, 2009

    Great start. moving forward…..

  • RS Wing on Jul 26, 2009

    Very fluid read. Keeps your attention and reads like a CSI episode.

  • RS Wing on Jul 26, 2009

    The eyes of detail and hardship of these investigators in these past 2 chapters show how real this story seems to be. The intensity of the crime, passing it down to mom and dad and the interest one has to have , yet keep his composure and eye on the ball really shows how professional these guys are. The story really keeps you interested as if watching a great episode of CSI. Really good writing and dialogue displayed here David.

  • Alina Beck on Jul 26, 2009

    A great read David. There was a danger that the pace might be lost after Kyle gives it all up in the interview room, but you handled the transition well and kept my attention even though I knew who the culprit was. I’ll admit that when I clicked on this story and saw how long it was, I went away and made a cup of coffee before I read it – had myself an excellent coffee break!

  • RS Wing on Jul 26, 2009

    Great thrill rush of adrenalin two thirds in to the end. Real great dialogue and thorough detail leaving the reader held on every word. Another really great episode man. A++

  • clafleur on Jul 30, 2009

    i stopped by to check out your work

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