The facelift:

John, an older man, just got a facelift. A young attractive girl who was doing American Table Dance for a job, was sitting next to him at the bus-stop.

John asked: “Hi, beautiful girl, can I ask you a question?”

Darla said: “Sure, shoot.”

John asked: “How old do you think I am?”

Darla answered: “I don’t know.”

John replied:” I just got a facelift.”

Darla said: “Well, it looks pretty nice. But, I can’t guess your age until you show me your dick.”

John  dropped his pants and showed her his dick.

Darla answered: “Your 47.”

John asked: “That’s correct. How did you know?”

Darla answered: “I was behind you at the baker.”

In the garden:

Kenza was hanging the laundry out in the garden. Her neighbour Fiona was also in her garden.

Fiona said: “Hi, Kenza. How is your husband Mike?”

Kenza answered: “Good, yesterday he gave me a dozen of roses. And now he thinks I am going to lay on my back the whole week with my legs open.”

Fiona replied: “Don’t you have a vase to put them in?”

At the supermarket:

Erik is shopping at the local supermarket. He puts his merchandise on the band. He puts a small jar of mayonaise and a small jar of marmelade on the strip. He also put some small tins of vegetables on the band. Amanda sits at the cash-desk.

Amanda said: “I can see the gentleman is single.”

Erik replied: “Yes, I can understand why you think I am single. It’s because I bought those small jars and tins.”

Amanda answered: ” No, it’s because you are so ugly.”

The truck:

Chris and Darla were having sex in the middle of a dirt road. After a while, a truck approached. He honked but the young couple continued. At last the chauffeur pushed his brakes and stopped at ten centimetre of the couple. The driver got out of the truck.

Driver asked: “Well, what’s going on? Didn’t you hear my horn? You could have been both death.”

Chris answered: “I am sorry but I was coming, she was coming and you were coming. But you are the only one who got brakes.”

In a whorehouse:

The new prostitute Darla just received her first customer. After an hour of work, she went to the madam.

Madam asked: “How was your first customer?”

Darla: ” He was firmly built just like a body-builder.”

Madam: “And what did you do?”

Darla: “I first explained him the price list, 200 dollar for everything, 100 dollar for a blowjob and 50 dollar just to pull his dick.”

Madam: “And what has he selected?”

Darla: “Well, he only got 50 dollar with him.”

Madam: “So, he chose for the cheapest option.”

Darla: “Well, he took his pants of and showed me his dick. It was so big. I’ve never seen such a big dick before.”

Madam: “And what happened then?”

Darla: “I lent him the 150 dollar.”