At the shopping-centre:

Two men lost their wife at the shopping-centre and they run in to each other.

Erik: “Have you seen my wife?”

Mark:”No, I lost mine too.”

Erik: “May be we can search for them together?”

Mark: “Good idea, how does your wife look like?”

Erik: “She is blonde, skinny, tight ass, with a mini skirt and high heels. And your wife?”

Mark: “Never mind, we are going to look for your wife.”

In an old people’s home:

The very sexy nurse Inga enters every night the room of grandpa John with a glass of wine and a viagra.

Inga: “Here I am with your wine and your viagra.”

John: “Thank you miss, that is very friendly.”

Inga: “Can I ask you an indiscrete question?”

John: “Of course.”

Inga: ” Why do you order a glass wine and a viagra every night? There aren’t any girls here.”

John: ” Well, I sleep better after a glass wine and since I took my viagra I didn’t fall out of my bed anymore.”

The speaking watch:

At the bar of a hotel James is sitting next to a milf.

James: “Look what I have in my hand, a speaking watch.”

He is holding the watch against the ear of the girl.

Watch: “You don’t have any knickers on.”

Girl: “I think your watch isn’t working, I’m wearing a string.”

James: “Shit, my watch is an hour ahead.”

At the beach:

Two gorgeous women Kenza and Darla are taking a sunbath.

Darla: “Did you know my husband is 100 % impotent.”

Kenza: “You are lucky, mine is 200 % impotent.”

Darla: “How is that possible?”

Kenza: “Last week, he felt from the stairs and bited his tongue off.”

At the doctor’s office:

Jimmy enters the waiting-room at the doctor’s office. Several people are waiting. He goes to the nurse who is sitting at her desk.

Nurse: “And what is your problem, sir.”

Jimmy: “There is something wrong with my dick.”

The people in the waiting-room are laughing.

Nurse: “But sir, we don’t use such a language here. Go back outside, come back and tell me that there is something wrong with your ears or something.”

Jimmy goes outside. A couple of minutes later, he comes back.”

Nurse: “And what is your problem, sir.”

Jimmy: “There is something wrong with my ears.”

Nurse: “And what are the precise complaints?”

Jimmy: “I can’t pee with them.”