LAZY DAY AT THE BEACH

The sea’s gentle waves splash onto the shore in the distance and the gulls circle above me, calling out as they ride the blue sky. I lie back on the warm sand and close my eyes, enjoying the cooling breeze on my skin on this beautiful summer’s afternoon. I relax, drinking in the peace and serenity of this deserted place where time doesn’t seem to matter, and then I start to doze.

I’m transported back in time to when I was a child. I see myself on a beach with my family – my mum, dad and brother, enjoying a game of cricket on a lovely sunny evening, laughing while trying to stop our dog running away with the ball. Such happy memories of times gone by. Then a black cloud descends and we’re no longer having fun. There’s a chill in the air and the feeling of menace closes in. Then my family are gone and there’s just me, scared and alone, wondering what is happening.

Then I’m in a bedroom, a dirty purple eiderdown on the bed, bare floorboards, grubby walls and the smell of stale tobacco in the air. A man speaks to me in a gruff voice, ordering me to do things which aren’t very nice. I know this voice, it’s the old man who lives near us, the one who’s always kind and lets me walk his dog after school. Surely it can’t be the same person who is saying these horrible things. He comes nearer, advancing on me like a hunter on its prey. I don’t like this, it doesn’t feel nice at all. I want to go home to my mum and my dog. He smells like he hasn’t changed his clothes in weeks. I want to get away but I seem to be frozen to the bed; maybe if I obey him it will be over quickly and then I can escape. He hurts me and I’m relieved when it’s over. I go home and carry on as normal. I can’t tell anyone as he says it’s a secret and I might get into trouble if anyone finds out.

Then I hear another voice, a familiar, reassuring and comforting voice, accompanied by the excited barking of a playful dog. I open my eyes. I’m back in the present, laid on this beautiful beach being approached by my husband and our dog who is wrestling with a giant stick. He sits down beside me and asks if I’m okay. I tell him I had a bad dream but everything’s fine now; I’m safe and happy and we’re having a wonderful holiday. He gives me a hug and we get up, dust ourselves down and set off back for our evening meal. As we stroll along the sand while the sun goes down, the bad memories fade back into the distant corners of my mind. I know they will be back as they never really go away, but I have so much in life to be thankful for and I count myself lucky to be a survivor.