My eyes now follow every move he makes; only now I notice the way he walks is so cute, everything about this guy is perfect. I am in love, and the rest of my life seems impossible without him.

It’s a week since the love of my life left me sobbing on the doorstep early hours of that cold morning. It is harder now than the morning that he left me. At first I was able to pretend that he was on a holiday and would be returning shortly with presents, photos and stories of his time away with his friends. But it is not like this at all, the reality is finally kicking in, my lifestyle has had to make some drastic changes and this has made it real to me that he is not coming back. Friend’s and family ask me if I’m ok. That question makes me cry, every time. I wish they would stop asking me. I also wish I could forget about the love of my life for one moment so that I can sleep, eat, concentrate on something else. This is not getting any easier like they say it will in books and magazines. I can feel paranoia kicking in now, he is no longer mine, and I can not question his moves, his feelings, and his sex life. There are a million thoughts and questions running through my head constantly, I write them down in the hope that this will help…… but it doesn’t. Has he forgotten me already? In new surroundings with new people and places, nothing to remind him of me in the way I have constant reminders of him at home. His clothes in my room, his favourite computer game advertised on TV, his football team getting through to the next league. I just hope that every so often, before he goes to sleep, or when he hears a particular song, that he stops and thinks of the good times we shared. After all, it is only memories that we have now, and even though these memories make me upset at times, they are all good memories, and I hope in time I will look back on them and smile and think only happy thoughts.