On August 19th, 2001 I woke up early in the morning and stared at the ceiling anxiously for a couple of hours. My parents were asleep; even my cat did not bother to wake up. I was not particularly upset with my life; it was the boredom and predictability that were killing me. I was not scared, not at all. I did not regret my decision; I just had to get up, take shower, make sure that I packed everything I needed to bring with me, and board the plane. Board the plane!

Not knowing what directions to take next, what to do with my life and how to break the routine, I decided that the best way was to go abroad, somewhere far, where I would not be able to cry for help to my parents. I wanted more than ever to become independent, discover something new, and discover myself. My parents thought my life was going into a good direction: I finished college; I studied at a private university, I was engaged to a man who, in their eyes, would make a perfect son-in-law. I felt like I had a collar on my neck and it just kept tighten up more and more. So on one cold morning in February when, I realized that I couldn’t live this life anymore, enough was enough. On that very same day I started an application process to become an Au Pair in America, just to make sure that I won’t change my mind as this was on my mind from some time.

Things were flowing through head, and I thought about what my life was going to be like in a week. I have never boarded the plane before! I did go abroad few times: to Italy, Austria, Czech Republic but these countries were accessible by bus.

When we got to the airport in Warsaw, there were other girls that were going to fly with me to New York. We talked about our fears, hopes, dreams, and expectations. We thought that this was going to be a life changing decision for us. Each of us was there for a different reason: one wanted to learn English, another one was trying to recover after a bad breakup, and other one was taking a year off at school to try something new.

At the airport someone told us there was a problem with our seats. Someone at the au pair agency forgot to confirm them, so there was no room for us. That very minute I realized that I cold not, I absolutely could not go back to the plain and miserable life that I was about to leave behind, and the fear from unknown instantly disappeared. Had I any concerns if this was a good decision, they were gone at that moment and I knew I could not look back. Luckily, the problem got fixed and not only we got our seats back, but they upgraded us to business class. I though this was a very good sign.