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Will there ever be an end to my suffering? I do not think that another man in the long extended version of human survival has ever had to endure the intense damnation that has befallen my being. My very existence is left to question as my mind becomes a tumultuous cloud of torment – unsure as to whether this fleshy container will sustain the essence of life for even one heartbeat longer. Memories of even glimpsing moments of bliss and serenity are discarded as but a fool’s fantasy, for in absolute measures such things cannot be a reality.

Every single breath sears the lining of my lungs as I inhale the embers of my hopes for joy – burnt to oblivion by the scorching reality of pure and unrelenting pain. Molecules of oxygen carry with them a million hooks of judgement – condemning me for my lack – tearing paths of deprivation down my throat and congealing in a great ball of pulmonary torture. My executioner is not content however; it releases the microscopic claws into my bloodstream to continue my punishment on every cell of my being.

My muscles are torn in relentless waves of vicious attack. The heat of a billion suns ignites from deep within my animate tissue, threatening to burn me alive. This is surely the initial stages of spontaneous human combustion. It is without a doubt to me that flames – blue as the eyes of Satan incarnate – will explode from my skin and consume me; leaving me as nothing but a boiling pool of molten fat and charred bone. My heart will burst from my chest as a blistering ball of fusion plasma moments before I am obliterated in human supernova.

All moisture is wrung from my cells by an endless army of luciferous minions. They sink greedy fangs of fatality into every life preserving membrane of my ash and dust machine. The pitiless demons consume my cytoplasm, tear apart nuclei and destroy encoding protein. Even if I were to survive now would I still be human? Would the blue print that defines my creation be corrupted beyond recognition? What manner of horror would stand before a disgusted and reproachful throng that would sooner see me dead than be reminded of my perverse existence? I would myself prefer death if only the pureness of evil that was before me would grant it so. If there is a God, then for all that is good and wholesome in the world let my suffering end!

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Congratulations, you have recorded your personal best kilometre. You have run 3.66 kilometres in a time of 30 minutes and 3 seconds. You achieved an average run rate of 8 minutes and 12 seconds per kilometre and burnt 439 calories”

YES – I DID IT! I ran over 3.6km in 30 minutes. 439 calories…that is a good size piece of chocolate mud cake. Excellent – time for my reward!