When I was a girl in 1979, the most amazing thing happened. George Lucas created Star Wars. It changed the world in ways I’m sure he never imagined it would, but as a little girl in 1977, I imagined it. My world was changed. Toys in the house became Star Wars toys. Comics became Star Wars comics (though I still read my Tarzan and Batman. I wasn’t a complete heathen.) Many a game my brothers and I would play for the next several years would be Star Wars in nature and when I wrote my first novelette in sixth grade, oh yeah, I plagiarized the hell out of that story. There was just one problem with all of that. I was girl. I had long hair, often in braids. I wore dresses, under duress usually (okay that was a deliberate play on words-sorry)but wore them I did. And the only girl character in the movies was Princess Leia. Lame, so lame. My brother Tom and I would often argue over who got to be Han Solo and the argument always ended with the single inescapable fact, “But you’re a girl!” Couldn’t deny it, couldn’t change it.

As I got older and other interests took hold in Junior High and High School, it always came back to that-But you’re a girl. When I wanted to try out for my Junior High football team-girl. Even though the other boys in my grade stood up with me to get me the chance to try out, did I get to? Nope. I was a girl. Never mind the fact that I was a girl who could kick the ass of most of the football team, and had on occasion. I was still a girl.

Over and over in life I have been reminded that I can never be Han Solo. Or can I? Let’s take a look, shall we?

Han Solo: Best pilot around. Made the Kessel run in less than twelve par-secs.

Me: I speed. A lot. And I don’t get tickets. If I get stopped, I get out of it. Just like Han Solo.

Han Solo: He shot first. You know it, I know it, and George Lucas knows it.

Me: Yeah, I shoot first.

Han Solo: Hangs out with a wookie.

Me: My husband. Although, despite all the hair, he would insist he is Han Solo.

Han Solo: Dresses for Action. The vest, the shirt, the pants. Ultra Cool.

Me: Dresses for Action. The vest, the shirt, the pants. Ultra Cool.

Han Solo: Pirate.

Me: Pirate. Just ask my three year old. He even calls me Captain Mommy.

Han Solo: Found his soul mate down a garbage chute.

Me: Ummm…that’s a different story, but yeah, kinda.

So look, I know I am a girl, I know I’m not in space on the Millennium Falcon, the coolest ship in the universe (followed closely by Serenity-the geeks out there know what I’m talking about), but I contend that I did indeed grow up to be Han Solo. And my brother Tom is Darth Vader.

Other things by me that might give you a laugh:

• I-Was-a-Crash-Test-Sister
• Miss-Annie-What-Happened-to-Their-Penis
• Allison-in-the-Rain-or-Why-I-Dont-Teach-High-School-Anymore
• http://purpleslinky.com/offbeat/what-would-yoda-do-living-your-life-in-the-light-of-the-lucas/