When I was enamored (fixated) with a narcissistic man, I did not look at the situation from futuristic and permanent standpoint. I did not visualize what life would be like cohabitating with a man that suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. I was given a glimpse of that life when I met a friend online who appears to be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder or simply exude high levels of narcissistic traits interlaced with antisocial disorder.

This malevolent net mate was controlling, inflated and possessive. He had contrived a biography where he is a successful computer engineer with numerous clients. He was a chameleon, jack of all trades. There were days when he was a lecturer at a prestigious university. Some days he was a marine engineer and other days he was a savvy business man with numerous clients coming to his doorsteps at rude hours of the night.  He had the most inflated ego I have ever had the misfortune to acquaint. His inflated self image was staggering and appalling.  The narcissist misogynistic overture and sexual innuendos were distasteful.

He was a pathological liar and the most sanctimonious person I have ever dealt with. His self righteous personage was highlighted by his twisted sense of justice and morality.  He would lambaste an individual for lying to him and yet he lied profusely.  He was rather defensive when he thought he was being offended and yet expected others to tolerate his obnoxious behavior. He did not see anything wrong with his repugnant behavior. In fact he claimed that he does not care if people liked him because he liked him self and that’s all that mattered to him. Narcissism indeed!

I made the mistake of relating his narcissistic traits to that of a phantasm from my past and the malignant figure launched into tirade, defending my phantasm and laying the blame at my feet of course.  I was amused then incensed at the narcissist inability to empathize. He perceived my anger at the experience I had with another narcissist as mere indication that I was still in love with him. The man was unable to dissect emotions further cementing his narrow sightedness and incapacity to distinct human reactionary feelings.  When I vented my disgust and outrage at the behavior of narcissists, he challenged that I was being petulant because I could not manipulate the narcissist. I could not compel the narcissist to satisfy my needs and therefore I become angry and frustrated. Talk about projection! What the narcissist was saying to me was a deep mirroring of his attempt to control and manipulate me into complying with his demands and embracing his line of thought.