JUNE. It was almost Father’s day when we found out about Lolo’s sickness. I could not fully understand what they mean, all I know was Lolo was sick and what I understand was there were a lot of complications. We cannot do one procedure because it might affect another and cause a much greater complication. When we ask what we can do, the doctor’s answer was, “We just have to wait.” And we ask him, “For what?” And he told us, “for his body to give up.” A line we all could not accept. It was almost Father’s Day. We could not possibly have this news. And not thinking it might be his last, we gave him a simple family lunch for Father’s Day. The difference was almost all of us was there. He knew nothing was wrong.

JULY. It was their 59th Wedding Anniversary. He showed no signs of weakness. We chose not to tell him of his condition and he went on with life. It was again a very simple family buffet at a restaurant. He would complain at times when we ask for a picture with him and ask, “Why do you have to have pictures with me?” and we turn away to hide our welling tears. He knew nothing was wrong.

AUGUST. Lolo started to find out on his own that he is sick. He usually complains of chest pain and difficulty in breathing and all we could do was offer him massage, sing to him or turn the oxygen tank on. He finally knew that he was sick. He admits he is. And he tells us, “I am ready.” And how we long to tell him, “We are not.”

SEPTEMBER. Their oldest Son, our uncle, comes home from work abroad. We knew Lolo gets weak almost too quickly. The once strong person we know now admits he can’t do most of the things he usually does.  I know Uncle was probably the saddest person I’ve seen when I heard Lolo say, “If I die, do not rush home, I fully understand if you can’t make it.”

OCTOBER. It was a blur month. It came too quickly. We celebrated the usual fiesta. But instead of happy people, what we have were visitors who had to hide their own tears when they see Lolo–unhappy, not smiling and barely even talking. 

NOVEMBER. Lolo’s 83rd Birthday. He wanted a simple one but seeing how he was, we all strived to give him the best one we could offer. A lot of wellwishers came and they were shocked to see a completely different person. He failed to stay long at the party, he chose to go in early and sleep.

DECEMBER. We all tried our best to have a great Christmas. But our christmas was mostly spent alternately watching over him. Alternately singing for him. Alternately feeding him. We also took turns pushing his wheelchair, or helping each other assist him on or off the wheelchair. That Christmas was a blessed Christmas because he was still with us.

JANUARY. Our new year, though happy, was not one of our usual new years. It was one that started in tears. We did not enjoy much of the fireworks because we feel a part of us missing when we look sideways and not find Lolo there. 

It was the 15th on January when Lolo left us. 6:27 in the morning, surrounded by his apo(grandchildren) singing his favorite song You are my sunshine and Tennessee Waltz. 

When people say 6months is too long, We say its too short. If only we could have 6years more, 6months more, 6days more or probably, 6hours more, or even just 6minutes more.. . We would sing his songs for him, over and over.