Long Lasting Love

By: Ali M. Wagner

            A smile came to my face as I looked into those crystal blue eyes. When I scooped her up and spun her around, I couldn’t help but laughing. Her laughter was just that contagious. When I’d get her food ready, she’d do her little dance. She would spin around with her arms up in the air and she let out an impatient screech. It would just make me rush to get her applesauce and crackers ready. Everyday I’d take a big whiff of the applesauce after I threw it in the microwave for thirty seconds. Warm apple pies is what it would always remind me of.

            Feeding her felt like more of a chore than anything else. She would eat a few spoonfuls then spit some out, all over her bib and the highchair. I swear I had to give her more baths than all five of my dogs combined after a rainy day of playing in the dirt; but no matter how much work my little eight month old Kimi caused me, I gladly stepped up to the plate. The problem was, the plate was way too big.

            Being seventeen, it was hard being a parent. I lived on my own in a small townhouse,  but even though it was small, my paycheck couldn’t handle paying more than the rent. I barely got by. Add a few dogs and a baby and I couldn’t handle it anymore. One by one I gave away my dogs, but the bill still piled up. I just couldn’t afford for Kimi, let alone myself, to live and be healthy. I knew what I had to do.

            Adoption was the hardest choice in my life, but I knew who would be taking care of her. My Aunt Mia and Uncle Brian. They always wanted a child, but they weren’t able to have one, for whatever reason. I knew they’d be happy and they are.

            I pulled out the one picture I had of Kimi and tears rolled down my face. Looking in her blue eyes, seeing her gnawing happily on a foam toy of hers, she looked perfect. That is the image that has always been in my mind. Even now that I am a thirty-two year old mother of three. Even after Kimi moved to Arizona with her adoptive parents, I still am able to be there for her and let her know how special she is, even though Mia and Brian haven’t told her she’s adopted. Every now and then she asks, “Why do you care so much about what goes on with me?” and all I can do is shed a tear and tell her I will always love her.