Charlie sat there. Alone. Watching the world revolve around him. No one caring about how he felt, they just kept walking. He didn’t know why he felt so alone in this crowd of people. He didn’t know why he didn’t just get up and be part of the crowd. He knew there were people he got along with in there, but he just chose not to join it. This was just a subconscious choice.

 Pulling out his notebook and a pen, Charlie tried to write something as he knew it was times like these that he wrote best. However, the glyphs he wrote down looked like nonsense and he couldn’t make head nor tail of his attempts at poetry. Dismayed, he tried again this time only getting a few sentences down before he had to give up, his mind not clicking like it usually did when he was writing poetry. Sighing, he put away his notebook and returned to watching the world.

 Charlie reasoned the crowd must be loud due to the amount of people, but all he could hear was the sounds of muffled conversation. It seemed like he couldn’t hear properly, but he knew that he could since he had listened to music to pass the time a few hours back. That brought him to another question; what was he waiting for?

  He knew it was something big. Something that would make him happy. Something that he would experience and know that he wasn’t alone or feel alone anymore. Knowing this, he realised it must be a person. But who? Who could make him no longer feel alone? Who could, or would do that for him? Examining the crowd, for he knew that it would have to be one of them (he could just tell) . He saw many people that he knew. Many people he had had life changing experiences with, nothing bad, illegal or sexual, just relationship experiences.

Charlie’s eyes lingered over a girl. She had caused the greatest change in him that he had experienced. She was the reason he had matured to the extent that he had. She had caused him so much pain, so much hurt that he knew he would never forget what happened. Choosing not to dwell on the experience, his eyes roved over the crowd, searching for another girl.

  Finding her, Charlie remembered what had happened with her. An event that he thought was caused by pride and silence. His mind flitting back to the words of a song: ‘So why don’t you come right out and say it, because even though the truth is probably going to hurt I’d rather have that then something insincere.’ If only he had heard this song before it all happened, he would have had a fair amount less heartache.

 That was when he realised that the event was caused by gullibility. His own gullibility. The fact that he believed the pitiful excuse, even when other people said something against it. He remembered how much he defended the excuse, telling himself and that even though it sounded lame, it was sincere because she had explained it.

Once again choosing not to dwell upon these events, Charlie again looked through the crowd. His eyes lingered for only moments on each significant person he saw. The ones that had influenced him in small ways, nothing major.

 As his eyes moved over the crowd, he saw someone he didn’t know. A stranger. He only caught a glimpse of her long hair and a pair of vivid blue eyes before she was enveloped by the crowd. Who was this strange person? Thinking to himself, he decided that it must be someone from his future, maybe the person he was waiting for. However, this glimpse was so short that he knew it would be a fair while until she became present in his life.

      Drawing his thoughts back to himself he reminisced on what had gone past. The experiences he had had and the things that had happened. So many memories. So many things that he wished that he could go back and change.

To be continued?