I’VE never been so drunk in my life! I hope I sober up before I get home or I’m up Shit’s creek without a boat, fuck the paddle!

As the bus hit every bump imaginable, I close my eyes and try to rest.  But with all the noise and confusion going on around me it will be hard as hell to do any thing but stay drunk.

   I start to drift off when I feel a presence in the empty seat beside me.

At first I was a little irritated, but then this sexy bass filled voice whispered, “you are the only drunk I’ve ever seen smiling while trying to live through a hangover. You look so sweet I would love to kiss you but I’m afraid I couldn’t stop. So, instead I will…. Fuck with You! Get Up! Wake Up! You’re not drunk it’s all in your mind!”

I calmly reached into my coat pocket and pulled out my version of a shank – a one inch mini letter opener (eyes still closed) and loosely pointed it in the direction of the voice and stated, “Stone, I will cut your nuts, if you do not let me… DIE IN PEACE! And by the way, (this time my bloodshot eyes were open and burning) what the hell was your parents thinking when they named you, Rockhead? OOPS! Sorry I mean Stone.”

  “Very Funny! (scoffed Stone) at least when I go home I’m not going to get spanked for being out past curfew, you, you,……

   Those were the last words I heard sleep finally took over. I came to when I heard stone calling my name telling me to wake up because we were finally at the last stop – home.

   It’s not easy walking into your home at 4:00 in the morning, still reeling from an all night drunk and having to deal with a husband you hate for being sober and talking shit to you, but a woman’s got to do, what a woman’s got to do. It wasn’t but five minutes, when I heard that all too familiar North kakalacky drawl,  (That is, North Carolina for those of you unfamiliar with the terms of endearment for those hailing from that area of the south)